Ever had a straight up filthy sex dream about your boss? Or a deeply disturbing fantasy that means you can never look at your kettle quite the same way?
Yes? Then get yourself to therapy, you sick, dirty sex-maniac. That’s awful.
Just kidding. It’s totally normal to have weird sex dreams that make no sense in your normal, rational, waking life.
It doesn’t mean you actually want to do naughty stuff with people you hate or inanimate objects, either. It’s okay. It’s just your brain working through some stuff.
But if you’re wondering what, exactly, your weirdest dreams mean, read on.
Expert dream analyst Kelly Sullivan Walden has come out with a new book called The Love, Sex, and Relationship Dream Dictionary, and it takes on all the most common weird dreams and reveals their true meaning (H/T New York Post).
So, here’s what some of the most common weird sex dreams actually mean.
An Ex:
What you think it means: Oh, dear god. I’m supposed to get back together with my ex. I’ve made a terrible mistake. Clearly I miss him on some ~deeper level~.
What it actually means: Walden says that everyone you see in your dream is a projection of part of yourself. So your dream ex isn’t really your ex. It’s you.
She explains: ‘An ex represents an aspect of yourself that you may have been in touch with when you were with that person, that maybe you don’t seem to have right now.’
So maybe take some time to look back over your past and reconnect with yourself. DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX AFTER WAKING UP IN A SWEAT AT 3AM.
Your Boss:
What you think it means: I secretly fancy my boss. Sh*t.
What it actually means: Again, your boss is a part of yourself. Do not sleep with your boss.
Walden says: ‘A boss typically represents authority, and this dream is giving you a sense of your own empowerment. It means you’re looking to “be the boss” in your own life.’
An animal:
What you think it means: I’m sick, depraved, and secretly into bestiality. I hate myself.
What it actually means: Kelly says this dream is all about a desire to reconnect with your ‘animal instincts’ and get away from technology.
A celebrity:
What you think it means: I am destined to be with Ryan Gosling. We had dream sex. We’re basically married.
What it actually means: THE CELEBRITY IS YOU. We know. What a plot twist.
Having dream sex with a celeb means you want to step into the spotlight and change the world. Go write that novel, dude.
An alien:
What you think it means: That was real. I was abducted and am now carrying alien spawn.
What it actually means: Kelly says alien-related sex dreams mean you want to embrace the quirks that make you weird – or ‘alien’. Get it?
So, important takeaways here.
Sex dreams are okay and normal, even if they seem completely bizarre when you wake up.
Everyone in your dream is really you.
And no matter how good the sex was in your dream, you really, really shouldn’t text your ex.
