Rule #34 of the internet says that if you can think of it, someone has almost certainly already made a dirty movie out of it.
Going by this list of unusual fetishes, there are some REALLY strange films out there.
Sploshing
Aka Wet and Messy (WAM).
Women (it’s almost always women) sit in gunk tanks and/or roll around in paddling pools filled with baked beans.
Gloopy.
Formicophilia
Get your rocks off by being covered in insects. But maybe take an antihistamine first.
Furries
Possibly the cutest of the fetishes on this list. IT’S SO FLUFFY!
Balloons
Whether it’s the straining latex – or just the tension of waiting for it to pop – balloons certainly raise some people’s blood pressure.
Coulrophilia
Sexual attraction to clowns, which is the complete opposite of how I feel about them.
Tripsolagnia
The joy of getting one’s hair shampooed. Doesn’t everyone have this fetish to some extent?
Macrophilia
A quick search for ‘macrophilia’ on Amazon finds endless tales of tiny men being taken prisoner by giantesses.
Kleptolagnia
I don’t know about getting turned on by stealing, but I guess an awful lot of people have sneaky thoughts about being caught in an illicit act.
In which case it’s probably safer to get a trusted partner to handcuff you in private, rather than risk being marched through a busy shopping centre by a security guard who’s just caught you with a copy of Heat down your bra.
Dendrophilia
Most people love trees. Some people really love trees.
And some people strip naked and tie themselves to trees in the name of art.
I personally favour trees that look like they have butts.
Hybristophilia
Hybristophila is the act of fetishising criminals, often seen in women who fall in love from a distance with such infamous felons as Charles Manson or Peter Sutcliffe.
It is generally believed that they subconsciously want the thrill of being associated with someone famous that they’ll never actually have to live with (on account of them, y’know, being imprisoned for life), whilst also seeing themselves as a kind of redeemer who will show the bad guy the error of his ways.
Voraphilia
Voraphiliacs derive pleasure from the thought of being swallowed whole and/or being digested.
Slowly dissolving in the stomach acids of a giant alien creature? Best. Date. Ever.
Tentacles
This is a fairly obvious one given the potentially phallic nature of tentacles, although Cthulhu is unlikely to be any parent’s idea of the perfect partner for their offspring.
Mind you, he’d certainly be useful when fighting through a crowded bar on a Saturday night.
Psychrophilia
Psychrophiliacs have fantasies of watching people freeze.
The psychrophiliac hybristophiles amongst you could do worse than watching the end of The Shining.
Heeeere’s Johnny!
