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Saturday, April 20, 2024

16 Signs You Need To Have Sex, ASAP

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So it’s been a little while since you got laid. That’s okay; we’ve all been there. But while you weather out this dry spell, take a peak at our list of the signs that you seriously need to have sex as soon as possible. You know, for inspiration!

1. You’ve forgotten how it feels to be turned on.

2. Crude jokes make you laugh way too hard.

3. You’ve been channeling your sexual frustration too deeply into other pursuits.

4. You try to mask your loneliness with exuberance.

5. You like to do this in public bathrooms, because if you’re not having sex, no one else is either.

6. Your seduction skills are so rusty that this is your opening line in the bar.

7. And when that fails, you whip out this bad boy.

8. You address your genitals with the following.

9. This is you on a Saturday night.

10. You see someone attractive and all you can think is.

11. You would welcome human contact in any form.

12. A simple hug drives you up the wall.

13. This is you pretty much 24/7

14. You friends regularly have to pull this move to get you to shut up about how long it’s been

15. You massively misread signals on the regular.

16. When you finally get laid, your friends bring you this cake.

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