The start of a relationship naturally involves some uncertainty. As you continue getting to know a new partner, different aspects of their personality come out — and not all of them are good.
In an AskReddit thread this week, users shared their early relationship dealbreakers. Here are seven things they deemed unforgivable at the beginning of a new romance:
1. Giving ultimatums. If you can’t communicate effectively with someone you’re dating in the earliest stages, there’s clearly an issue. And when have ultimatums ever made anyone happy? “Example: using break[ing] up as a bargaining chip,” Redditor biker-holic wrote. “Breaking up isn’t something to joke about. Don’t mention it if you aren’t ready for the result.”
2. Not taking responsibility for wrongdoings. Because why would you want to date someone who believed themselves never in the wrong? As Redditor RustyTDI said: “Fights are going to happen in relationships, it’s inevitable, but when they do happen you have to be honest about what you have done wrong for a resolution to be reached.”
3. Being rude to bartenders, waitstaff and other service professionals. Honestly, there’s just no excuse for such bad behavior. Redditor its a calamity shared: “The older I get, the more I realize just how important it is that someone be considerate of those around them.” We wholeheartedly agree.
4. Never showing gratitude. Redditor spazzmckiwi said of a woman he broke it off with:
It took me a little while to realize this once, but eventually it dawned upon me that she had not once ever thanked me for doing her a favor or for a nice gesture, even when she asked for the favor in the first place, not a single “thanks” was ever said.
5. Failing to respect boundaries. Whether the boundaries are physical or emotional, it’s always important for both people in a new relationship to listen to the person they’re dating. “No” really does mean “no” — always. Phaiseprofits wrote: “When you mix [disrespecting boundaries] in with a lack of respect for other people’s consent, then I’m out.”
6. Constantly showing up late or canceling plans. Look, we all get busy, but if you care enough about someone to be dating them, don’t jerk them around when it comes to meeting up. For Redditor Zomodee, a habit of canceling last-minute is a definite dealbreaker.
7. Not being able to be alone. We think tyler123321 said it best: “Wanting to see each other a lot is one thing, not having a life outside each other is another.”