So girls, you have cleared the first round of marriage selection– met the guy, selected him as your life partner, and matched the kundali. Now it is time for the second round– meeting the future in-laws. Especially, your would-be mother-in-law!
You must be excited yet nervous, of course. And your mind must be circling around things you should and should not talk about when you meet her, right? Well if all this is going on in your mind right now, then you are at the right place. Here we have the answer to your question. We have mentioned a few points that will help you to get ready for your first big meeting with your future mother-in-law. So, want to know what are they? Then read on.
#1. Don’t give false impressions
Yes, this is the first and the foremost rule of meeting your future in-laws. Don’t try to impress your would-be mother-in-law by saying things like, “Oh! Yes I love cooking”, when you just don’t like it or don’t even know how to cook! Topics like cooking, household chores, career, work hours, etc. are common subjects where most girls end-up giving a false impression, either in their attempts to impress or out of nervousness. Always remember, a false impression can create lot of problems later on.
#2. Don’t belittle her son
You have met the man of your dreams (love marriage or arranged), and you have instantly connected with him. But there are few things or let us say habits of his that you don’t like. Whatever it is, don’t start the conversation with, “Your son has so and so bad habits,” or “I think he smokes too much, maybe you should have done something to stop him,” or anything which raises question on her upbringing. Trust us, no mother would like to hear about her upbringing from some person she is meeting for the first time. You will definitely feel her wrath.
#3. Don’t get into intimate details
If it is a love marriage, then please resist from sharing the intimate details of your relationship. Telling her how your son swept you off your feet, literally, is something any mother would not be pleased to hear. So, keep such information strictly in between you and your man.
#4. No time to bring up the past!
No matter how frank, lovely, sweet or innocent your prospective mother-in-law is or seems to be, never ever tell her about your past love affairs, if you at all had any. This is one thing which only your better half should know. Not many Indian mothers are comfortable with such things, no matter how progressive or open they might seem to be. So, it should be a well-guarded secret.
#5. Keep your family out
Never share your family secrets with her even if she knows your family very well or is some far off relative of some of your family member. If there is anything about your family that might impact this particular alliance, your would-be groom, and his family, then only it should be revealed. Otherwise, every family has its own secrets that should stay with it only.
#6. Joint family or nuclear
If you have no plans of staying with the in-laws after marriage, then first talk to your prospective spouse about this and know what is his take on it. Don’t talk about your future plans straight away with your mother-in-law in the very first meeting. Instead, let your would-be better half do this job in his own way, if at all you come to this decision.
It is not just what you say or how you say, your future mother-in-law would also be making her impressions about you based on your clothes and your body language.
#7. Hold your tounge back!
Don’t argue with her, even if you don’t agree with her on certain issues. It is obvious that in certain issues there might be a difference of opinion (generation gap!), but instead of arguing with her on the very first date, just try to ignore that topic or politely say that, “Well you may be right on your place but I have a different opinion about this matter,” and don’t put forward your point unless asked.
And, you are now all prepared to meet your future mother-in-law. We know this is one nerve-wrecking situation since all eyes will be on you, but just be yourself and you will pass this round with flying colours!