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Chinaemerem Ibezim, Chinaemerem Ibezim devotional, Spirit and Life Devotional

Genesis 32:10 NLT “I am not worthy of all the unfailing love and faithfulness you have shown to me, your servant. When I left home and crossed the Jordan River, I owned nothing except a walking stick. Now my household fills two large camps!”

Grace! Imagine for a moment, a world without the grace of God: how terrible it would be. Imagine also your own life without grace; maybe you would have been dead by now; or broke, unhappy and hopeless.

There’s not enough space to write about the benefits of the grace of God upon us. None of us deserves anything that we have ever received from God, yet He keeps on blessing us as if we have never committed an offence! Thank you Jesus!

Look at Jacob: he prospered by grace. He entered a place with nothing except a walking stick and later left there a very wealthy man! Hallelujah! Guess what; we serve the same God Who was gracious to Jacob! I prophesy to you in the name of Jesus, the grace of God that brings wealth, promotion, fulfilment, joy, peace and success will locate you today! I know you don’t deserve it, but Jesus has qualified you! So shall it be in the name of Jesus!

To do: Say this: Today I will see the goodness of God. Today, I am walking in the favour of God. Today, I am blessed! Today, the lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places! Today, I receive an abundance of the grace of God! I am moving from one level of grace to another! Grace is mine in the name of Jesus! Amen!

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tunde Leyee Burnt

Hajara ran one of the prime makeup studios on the island. With her enterprise and her husband’s backing, she had grown it into one of the biggest brands around. Just recently, she had launched her own line of beauty products and it was an instant sellout. Owning her own business which was flexible was a compromise, one she had come to with Donald. He had been opposed to her doing any sort of work, insisting that he made more than enough to provide for his family. But she would have none of it and almost took up a job. They had gone back and forth on the issue until they eventually agreed that she would work, but it would be her own business and it would not be a boutique, events management, consulting or all the high stress, plenty traveling type of work. Makeup had been a perfect fit and it was one of her passions. It was one of her greatest sources of pride that she had been able to build the business herself and it was uber-successful.

That evening as she returned home from the studio, Hajara was surprised by her daughters. First, Oyiza was the one who greeted her at the door. Even before she sat down, her daughter was regaling with tales of how great school had been that day, uncharacteristically talkative of her. Normally, Inya would be the one who met her at the door, while Oyiza was curled up on the sofa watching TV or reading some of her beloved storybooks. When she was able to get a word out in, between Oyiza’s stories, she asked

“Where is Inya? Is she well?”

Oyiza snickered as she responded “she’s being a cry baby who wants to see you her mummy in the room. She’s been there the since we came back from school.”

“What happened to her?” Hajara asked as she hurried towards the girls’ room.

Oyiza went after her, recounting the episode involving Brian as she did. Hajara was relieved that it wasn’t some physical ailment that had brought her daughter down. But thinking about it again, she knew this would probably hit her more than any sickness could. If the tables had been turned and Oyiza was the one who had experienced what Inya did, she would not have been this worried. But with Inya, it was a different matter. She had learnt long ago that things affected them differently.

She got to the room and quickly opened the door, with Oyiza right behind her. Inya was curled up in one corner of the bed with her back to the door. If she was awake, she did not show any signs of being so. Hajara looked sternly at Oyiza and waved a finger in warning so that she would behave herself and not gloat.

She sat down on the bed and touched her daughter, waiting for her to stir if she was awake. When nothing happened, she guessed Inya was asleep and shook her a little.

Inya had hoped that they would leave her alone when they came in and she pretended to be asleep. She really did not want to talk to anybody. She felt dirty and disgusted with what Uncle Idris had made her do hours earlier. She had thought it was going to be some nice lessons like things she watched on Barney and Friends, but it hadn’t been anything like that. She shut the memory away, trying to pretend that it hadn’t happened. He had made her touch him and touch him until her hands ached, yet he didn’t let her stop.

Then suddenly, his eyes had looked funny and he shook as if something was wrong with him. She was about to scream when he hushed her up and then looked at her in a way she would never forget and told her “if you do this to Brian and he shakes like this, he will be your friend alone.”

Then he had taken her to the bathroom, given her a warm bath and taken her back into the room. Before he left, he had warned her sternly “if you tell anyone about this, you will never have any friends again because of this secret.”

She could never look at Uncle Idris the same way again after that, but she would not tell anybody. She didn’t want to be alone.

She turned and stretched like she was just waking up. “Good evening mummy!” she said putting on a fake smile. When Hajara saw her daughter smile, she let out a sigh of relief. She touched Inya’s neck to feel her temperature and it was normal

“How are you? Were you so tired from school that you slept so much?” she asked.

“I was sad when I came back from school, but Uncle Idris came to cheer me up and I’m happy again.” Inya said sweetly.

The honking of a car horn cut into their conversation. The two girls screeched in unison “Daddy!” and raced out of the room. Hajara let them go and meet their father, while she went into the kitchen to fix dinner. She met Idris there, taking a drink from the two-door refrigerator. She wondered what she would do without him now as per the girls; he was so good with them. She was glad he had helped handle Inya’s tantrums and cheered her up this afternoon. A house-help would definitely have ignored the girl.

“Good evening aunty,” he said.

“Idris how are you. I hear you had to stop a civil war between the girls today and cheer one of the parties up. Thank you o.” she laughed as she said this.

Idris looked like he was embarrassed for being thanked for helping with the girls. Hajara placed a hand on his shoulder and said seriously “seriously, thanks for being so great with the girls.” Then she turned and opened the chest freezer and said, “Now, what to warm for dinner…”

Idris quickly escaped from the kitchen. He wondered if Inya had blurted out anything. His sister had never thanked him about the girls and it was suspicious that she suddenly did so today. When he got to the living room, their daddy was already back with one of his friends that came to the house a lot, Mr. Udoh. He knew he would not have the chance to be alone with Inya till morning. He bit his fingers.

“Chief Idris,” the loud Udoh was saying, slapping him on the back. “Shay we will not find you wife like this, with this everlasting ASUU strike that is not ending.” Udoh and Donald roared with laughter and Idris quickly joined in. As Udoh sat down, he called Inya to come and sit on his laps. “Inyus Inyus peperempe, come and sit on uncle’s laps now,” he said in his rambunctious way. Normally, Inya would have raced to go and sit there, but today, she seemed to be hesitant, looking to Idris. Inside her, Inya trembled. The laps were so close to where she had touched Uncle Idris today. She didn’t want to be anywhere near anyone’s laps. Idris tried to avoid her gaze, so that it would not be obvious. He broke out in sweat inside the air-conditioned room.

“Inya, what is it?” Donald asked, noticing the way his daughter tensed up at Udoh’s request.

Idris quickly jumped in “Inya, go and answer Uncle Udoh now,” he said tersely with a sideways nod of his head in Udoh’s direction.

Inya walked gingerly to Udoh and sat on his laps. “Now, that’s a good girl,” Udoh said, bringing out some chocolates and giving them to Inya. All the while, Oyiza sat curled up on the Sofa, uninterested in what was going on, glad that Mr. Udoh wasn’t paying any attention to her.

At that moment, Hajara walked into the living room to announce that dinner was served. She nearly had a fit when she saw Inya on Udoh’s laps. She had taken this up with Donald severally but he still allowed and encouraged it.

“Inya, come and help mummy finish setting dinner up,” she said, eyeing Donald.

Even though she was not called, Oyiza went with her mum to the dining area. Donald knew what that look meant. He was too tired for a quarrel tonight, but he could see it brewing, only waiting for two of them to be alone in the room before it exploded. As a rule, Hajara made sure that everyone in the house had dinner together. All the members of the Wadada family ate quietly save for an occasional comment or request to pass something, each silent for their own different reasons.

Udoh was oblivious to the tension at the dining table though. He just rambled on and on, sharing one story after the other and laughing loudly. Even when little Oyiza sarcastically asked him about table manners, he merely brushed it aside saying “food is the engine of life” and then laughed again.

They were glad when dinner was over and he left immediately after. It was the girls’ bedtime and Hajara went to tuck them in. The moment they fell asleep, she crossed the gym area and flung the door to the master bedroom open. The lights were out.

“Donald, I know you are not asleep, so stop pretending!” she said as she turned the lights on.

Donald didn’t stir. If there was one thing that wasn’t perfect about his wife, it was her temper. She was like a grown up Inya throwing tantrums when she was riled up. The good part was that it took a lot to get her worked up, and he apparently had done the “a lot” required this night.

“Donald Wadada, you better sit up and listen to me now, since you refused to listen all the many times I said this calmly!” Inya said louder. She struggled to keep her voice down since the kids were just across.

Donald knew he could not go on pretending, so he sat up. “Hajara, what is it now? You know I’ve had a very long day and I’m tired. So let’s sleep and you cuddle and comfort me like you should now,” he said, his attempt at a joke coming out lame.

“Donald I’m not joking. I have said severally that our kids are girls and we need to be careful! I am not comfortable with any of your friends carrying any of my daughters on their laps and all those kinds of physical things. Must the girl be on his laps before he gives her chocolates? I’ve heard all sorts of stories of things happening to girls of all ages and I don’t want my daughters to be victims!”

“Haba, we have known Udoh for how long? He has always been like that now, it’s just him. Forget the stories you’ve heard, Udoh cannot…” Donald was saying when she cut in.

“In every story, it’s always someone who has been known for long and who they are comfortable having physical contact with. I’m not saying Udoh specifically, I’m talking generally. Our girls are becoming women right before our very eyes!”

Donald laughed a little “Women? Hajara, don’t be dramatic. They’re just eight. That’s a long way from being a woman. You my dear, are a woman” he said, attempting to reach her.

Hajara slapped his hand away and hissed “look at you. Do you know that they are liking boys already? Inya came home crying today because a boy she liked wasn’t being her friend and was being Oyiza’s friend. Wake up o, and smell the coffee. Children grow up faster these days. Your daughters already know what it is to like boys. SO PLEASE, I DON’T WANT THEM SITTING ON ANY FRIEND’S LAPS EN, PLEASE, BIKO, JO, DAN ALLAH, ABEG.” She dramatically went on her knees as she said this.

That explained it, thought Donald. Out aloud, he said. “Hmm. I noticed Inya hesitated before going to sit on Udoh’s laps today so this might be true.”

“Of course it is. They are growing up fast. That’s what I’ve been trying to say since”.

This was news to Donald. He would definitely take his wife seriously now. His daughters were becoming aware of things. A thought occurred to him.

“Since the girls are getting more matured, I think Idris should stop bathing them now. He can still take them to school and help them get ready and all that, but if what you say is true, he should stop.”

“No issues. That means you’re taking this real serious now.” She stood up and sighed, visibly relieved.

Sensing that the fight had blown over, Donald quickly got up and went to hold his wife. She allowed herself relax into his arms. He smiled as he hugged her tight, all the tiredness fleeing from his body and the Black Eyed Peas song “I got a feeling, tonight’s gonna be a good night” ringing in his head.

***************+++++++++

The next morning, Hajara got up a little earlier than she normally did, cutting Donald’s “look at Hajara in her sleep” time by fifteen minutes in order to get to the girls’ room before Idris would. “By showing I’m serious about this thing, Donald will take it seriously too,” she said to herself.

*************+++++++++++

Idris got up a little earlier than usual. He wanted to get Inya alone so that he could find out if she had said anything to anyone. The only time he could think of doing this was when he would bathe the girls. Normally, he would bathe them together but today he planned on separating them and bathing Inya first. He needed to get there before their mum came to check on them before she then went to fix breakfast. He walked briskly towards the girls’ room.

He got there just as his sister was ushering the twins out of their room in their towels. Only Oyiza greeted him boisterously as the girls would normally do. Hajara thought maybe Inya was tired from getting up a little earlier than usual and waived this fact.

“Good morning aunty,” Idris said, deliberately choosing not to notice that Inya didn’t greet him.

“Idris, good morning. How was your night?” Hajara asked.

“Very well o, I slept well.” Then addressing the girls, he said as cheerily as he could “oya, let’s go and get some little girls clean. Bathing time!”

Hajara laughed at the way Idris had put having a bath in a fun way. Then remembering why she had gotten up earlier than normal, she said “ah Idris, mummy will bath the girls from now on. We need to have our girl time away from all you men.”

It was as if Idris had been punched full in the face. He wanted to protest then he caught himself. What reason would he give for wanting to bathe the girls so bad? But the question rushed into his mind “why had his sister suddenly decided to take over bathing the girls?” His eyes shot to Inya, but she wasn’t looking at him. Had the girl said anything and his sister was merely waiting to get them out of the house before acting? Was his brother in law already out and returning with police to get him now? The man had the means to get the police to do anything to him if he wanted to, of that Idris was sure. Instead of giving voice to the thoughts racing through his head, he smiled and said “ah, even though I’ll miss the girls, I’m glad I’ll get some more minutes of sleep.”

“Ah, Uncle Idris, not so fast, you still get to drop the girls in school.” Hajara said

Idris made a face that was meant to mean he was sad about that. Inside, his mind began working out how to get Inya alone on that ride to school. He turned and returned to his room to get dressed for the drive to their school while Hajara led her twins to the bathroom.

Author Tunde Leke (Photo Credit: Tunde Leke)
Author Tunde Leke (Photo Credit: Tunde Leke)

Tunde Leye is an accomplished author, musician and creative mind. He blogs at TLSPlace. Follow him on Twitter @tundeleye.

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author.

Daily Encourager is a weekly inspirational publication.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Rest is freedom from labor or physical activity. God rested from His creation work after the sixth day and we are encouraged to rest from our working as well. Rest is important to the body and it is very easy to see the negative impact of lack of rest. Rest in the physical sense helps the body to heal, refresh and refocus

Apart from physical rest, there is the rest on the inside. The internal rest is what is sometimes called peace of mind. For example; when you make a deadline for a major project, your mind is at rest and you enter your rest as far as that project is concerned. Peace of mind is the rest that Jesus speaks of when He talks about giving rest to the soul. It is not a physical rest but a rest of the mind or ‘soul rest’.

Jesus continually showed how important rest is for the soul. A mind that does not have rest is usually weary and overburdened, always at work trying to get something figured out, anxious about things. It is tired and always feeling inadequate. A soul or mind that does not have rest strays easily in search of solutions. There’s always something to be figured out, to be worried about, anxious for.

On the other hand, a soul that has rest is at peace within itself and with its environment. It is gentle and humble because it doesn’t strive, it knows that the work is done, it doesn’t have to do anything more. Jesus asks, which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life span? A soul that has entered into rest, concerning anything, has total trust in God for the expected outcome in that situation and doesn’t have to help itself.

We enter this rest by believing God’s word for every situation. Rest comes through receiving the word of God with faith. We are told that hearing the word but not combining it with faith or belief makes the Word of God of no benefit to the hearer. For the Word of God to be of benefit and take us into our rest we must believe it. When we believe in every situation contrary to God’s Word that ‘it is finished’ and that God had completed His work from the very foundation of the world, we are able to rest in His finished work.

After receiving the Word of God with faith, you must be willing to place or roll your work on Jesus Christ and take up His yoke and learn from Him. As the bible says, “anything He asks you to do, do it”. You show your faith in God by doing what His Word says. For example, when you have a need, you receive rest for your soul when you believe that He will supply all your needs and drop your anxiety in exchange for peace of mind.

Rest of mind, not be confused with apathy and not be confused with ‘having control’, is a definite gift and it is available to every believer that seeks it. This rest is not something that comes immediately or that is a one-time thing. It is something that must continually be sought after by reading the word of God and allowing it to bear fruit in your heart. It has to be backed by faith in the Word of God. It has to be received by faith and it has to rest on the Word of God.

Hebrew 3:10,11 “Though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’ So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’”

Hebrew 4:2,3 “For we also have received the good news just as they did; but the message they heard did not benefit them, since they were not united with those who heard it in faith (for we who have believed enter the rest), in keeping with what He has said: So I swore in My anger, they will not enter My rest. And yet His works have been finished since the foundation of the world”

Psalm 46:10 “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Tayme The Trent Voice

Temitope Talabi is a founding member of The Trent Voices currently reside in Austin, TX. She graduated with a PharmD from Texas Southern University in Houston, TX. She works as a community pharmacist and spends her spare time writing to build and encourage others through the word of God. Temitope is also currently working on a series of self-help books created to empower people to take charge of their health and wellness, the first of which is scheduled to be released early next year.

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author.

God loves authentic people. Don’t engage in fake it till you make it. Do it to make it. If you fake it it you will never make it.
This is why Romans 12:16 says “Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!”
Reno Omokri is the pastor of the Mind of Christ Christian Center and author of Shunpiking No Shortcuts To God. He can be reached on Twitter @renoomokri

divorce person husband
Photo Credit: iStock

It was a dark secret. The kind that destroys lives, devastates families and decimates faith.

Nobody shared it with Valerie Spruill while her husband was alive. For years after his death, she heard bits of the story. It was something about an absentee father, something about her husband.

None of it made sense, she said. That’s not until her uncle finally told her what no one else had: She had unknowingly married the father she never knew.

“It is devastating. It can destroy you,” Spruill told CNN late Thursday by telephone. “It almost did.”

Spruill, 60, of Doylestown, Ohio, went public with her story this month, first published in the Akron Beacon Journal, with the hopes that it would help others facing what seem like insurmountable problems.

Valerie Spruill
Valerie Spruill

It’s a story that has gone viral, attracting attention as faraway as Australia and India where the questions are always the same, she says: How could that happen?

It’s a question that Spruill said she has been grappling with since she first learned the truth in 2004, six years after her husband Percy Spruill died.

“I don’t know if he ever knew or not. That conversation didn’t come up,” she said. “I think if he did know, there is no way he could have told me.”

She confirmed that her husband was indeed her father through a DNA test, hair taken from one of his brushes.

The aftermath of the secret was devastating emotionally — and physically, Spruill suffered two strokes and was diagnosed with diabetes.

All of it, she believes was brought on by learning the family secret.

“Pain and stress will kill, and I had to release my stress,” Spruill said. “I’m just telling the story to release my pain.”

She has a deep, abiding faith in God, who she believes has guided her through the experience — and others that have shaped her life.

“You have to have faith,” she said. “If God brought me this far, he’s not going to leave me now.”

Spruill met and married her husband-father in Akron and settled in Doylestown, a working class suburb of about 2,300.

It was her second marriage. Spruill was a nice man, a good provider. He was kind to her three children from her previous marriage.

“We had a good life,” she said.

She initially struggled with anger, with hating Spruill for what happened.

But therapy taught her what happened wasn’t her fault. Her faith taught her to forgive.

Initial response to her story has been mixed: “More positive than negative,” she says.

In recent days, she has been in contact with a couple who found out after they were married that they were brother and sister.

They told her, she said, that her story is helping them deal with their own experience.

“They are trying to be friends now,” Spruill said.

Others, though, have been less kind.

“They’ve said things like ‘Some secrets should stay secrets,'” she said. “I can’t do anything about what they think. I just know what I think. God is always mighty, and he teaches you to tell the truth no matter what.”

Spruill knows not everybody tells the truth. It’s a lesson she learned as a child the hard way.

By all accounts, Spruill’s mother got pregnant as a teenager while dating her then 15-year-old father.

She was 3-months-old when she was sent to live with her grandmother and grandfather, who she initially believed as she grew up was her father.

Spruill said at about age 8 or 9, she discovered that the woman who often visited the house was not a family friend but her mother.

But nobody, she said, talked about her father.

There’s nobody left to give her the answers about her husband-father. Her mother, Christine, died in 1984. Her grandparents have long since passed. So, too, have a number of Percy Spruill’s relatives.

Spruill knows her mother worked as a prostitute and even got caught up in 1980 high-profile corruption scandal surrounding James Barbuto, a probate judge who was convicted of intimidating investigators and gross sexual imposition for attacking a courthouse clerk in his chambers.

“My mother showed me lots of love. All said and done, I have no regrets in my life at all,” she said.

She believes she has siblings or half-siblings from Spruill’s previous relationships, including the one with her mother.

She said she wants to find them and let them know they are not alone.

Spruill, herself, has three children and eight grandchildren. She struggled with telling her children that the man they believed was their step-father was their grandfather.

A therapist “advised me to tell my kids,” she said. “I told them about two years ago. They are remarkable. They are handling it better than I am.”

In recent days, shortly before the news broke, she also told her grandchildren.

“They have been so supportive. They are telling me they love me, telling me they will do whatever I need,” she said.

In her spare time, since retiring from the accounting department where she worked for 34 years at Goodyear, she has been writing down her story with the hopes of publishing it.

“I thank God that he gave me a chance to live through all of this,” she said. “It is nothing short of a miracle that I’m still here. I want people to know that they can survive something like this.”

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Suicide note mmm nigeria
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NAN – A 24- year old man, Abubakar Ahmed, was on Saturday found hanging on a tree in Ganten-Tudu in Kaoje Development Area of  Kebbi State .

A resident of the area, Malam Tukur Mohammed, told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Birnin Kebbi that the deceased was believed to have committed suicide over failed marriage bid.

Mohammed said the deceased had been farming to earn a living.

He added that the deceased ostensibly committed suicide after failing to produce N40,000 bride price for the marriage scheduled for Friday, Jan. 31.

The witness said that the deceased was not happy with an arrangement to postpone the marriage to Friday, Feb. 7 in spite of assurance from relatives that the money would be paid.

The deceased reportedly travelled to neighbouring Buya village with a friend on a motorcycle to recover a debt but was unsuccessful.

He was not seen again until his corpse was found dangling on a tree on Saturday.

The sole administrator of Kaoje Development Area, Malam Bello Abdullahi, confirmed the incident.

He said the deceased had been buried according to Islamic injunction while the Police had commenced investigation into the matter.

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Two men stood at the bar discussing the attractiveness of a young woman who was sitting with a girlfriend about 20 feet away. Finally, after about 15 minutes, the object of their attention walked up to the bartender and requested a martini. The shy one had called “dibs,” but said nothing as they stood nearly two feet apart. Finally, after a painfully silent minute and a half, she accepted her drink and walked back to her table.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” the good-looking 30-something asked his well-intentioned buddy. “I didn’t want to give her a line,” he said. His friend shook his head and laughed, “Man, you have no game. You have anti-game. All you need to do is toss a line out and get in, then you tell them what they want to hear. It’s 80 percent effective, I tell you.” I laughed loud enough for them to hear me. The playboy took it as an invitation, the shy one stood there with a look of gratitude on his face. We then spent the next hour discussing what really impresses a woman. At the end of the conversation, only one of the men walked out with a phone number.

It wasn’t the one with “game.” The nice guy walked over and said hello and asked me to join them. This list is, in part, a result of the conversation.

Note: Ladies, don’t let the title fool you; we are not off the hook. These tips work equally well for women looking to impress men, and are really just about mutual respect. What’s “hotter” than that?

1. Act Like an Adult:
This is such a big one, guys. Let’s first discuss what is not acting like an adult. Basically, it’s doing anything a 13-year-old girl would do.This includes, but is not limited to: ignoring texts, ending texts with “!!!” or “?!”, throwing tantrums, calling names and making statements to which “I know you are, but what am I?” could be accurately applied.

2. Make a Decision:
Wishy-washy is not decisive. Decisive is secure. Women like secure.

3. Think Things Through and Have a Plan:
Throwing caution to the wind is fun when you’re booking a weekend getaway, not when you’re looking at your future.

4. Have an Opinion About Things:
Just recognize that it’s just an opinion and allow room for the opinions of others. Especially hers. Especially in front of other people.

5. Be Transparent:
If you want to see her, say so. If it’s just a booty call, say so. If you want a relationship, say so. If you’re not sure what you want, leave her alone.

6. Be as Supportive and Proud of Her Career As You Are Yours:
Believe me, this will set you apart.

7. When Having Sex With Her…
Focus on more than just recreating the porn video you just watched and do that amazing thing you do much slower.

8. Bring Her Flowers:
Do this on days that are not her birthday, your anniversary or one on which you screwed up. Better yet, screw the flowers. Write her a letter.

9. Give Good Eye Contact:
Seriously, it works like giving her two glasses of wine.

10. Invite Her Out:
Ask her if there is any place that she’d like to go or if you can make the plans. Then make some great ones and be on time.

11. When You Ask How Her Day Was…
Pay attention to her response. Listen to it and ask if you can help before you start telling her what to do.

12. You Know What Your Mother Said?
It was rude.

13. Ask Her to Dance:
Bonus points if you’re alone in your apartment.

14. Unless It a Threat to Your Life or the Life Of Someone You Love, Handle Your S%$ Like Nothing Can Break You.
Not because you’re not vulnerable, but because S%#@ happens and you’re smart and strong enough to deal with life.

15. Stay Quiet and Calm When You Want to Yell and Scream.
Do you really want to look like a teething 2-year-old?

16. Treat her the way you would want a man to treat your daughter.
Would you want a man to start sending or asking for body shots as soon as he got her number?

17. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
Especially when you least think she deserves it.

18. Trust her.
Don’t assume friendships with men mean she can be stolen from you, wants to make you jealous or doesn’t respect you.

19. If you’re going to end it, end it clearly, respectfully and with dignity. Don’t play the “I need time” game. If, in time, you want her back, come back and see if she still wants you and go from there.

20. Call When You Say You Will Call, be where you say you will be, do what you say you will do.
Enough said.

21. Know when — and how — to apologize.
Don’t be sorry she felt that way, be sorry you did it.

22. Use Your Words Wisely: Communicate effectively. Clarify misunderstandings. Say “I love you” and “I am sorry” and “I will call you” only when you mean it.

23. When She Get’s Emotional, Don’t Do Any of the Following:
Mention anything having to do with any time of month, refer to her as a “nag” (or worse), try and “fix” it, tell her she “should not” feel that way or respond with any statement that shows that you have it worse than she does.

24. Be Respectful, Even When Mad. Even when ending it. Even after you have ended it. Even if she will never know.

25. Know the difference between opinion and fact.

Bonus Points: If you love her, fight for her, not with her.

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A woman was strangled Thursday after her scarf and then her hair got caught in the mechanism of a Montreal subway escalator as it rolled toward the platform.

A spokesman for the city’s ambulance service said he has never seen anything like it in his 30-year career.

“We see accidents in escalators, but I don’t recall a situation like this where somebody was physically trapped in the mechanism,” said Bob Lamle, a division chief for Urgences-sante.

The ambulance service has received several calls about people falling in the subway, he noted.

Police say the victim was a 48-year-old woman.

“By the time our people arrived, it had stopped and she was at the bottom of the escalator,” Lamle told reporters outside the Fabre subway station in the city’s north end.

“What they found was a woman . . . who was clearly trapped,” he said. “She was lying on her back.”

He said firefighters and paramedics immediately tried to revive her but were unsuccessful. A doctor declared her dead on the scene.

The accident happened at around 9:15 a.m., during the morning rush hour.

“There were people who saw this and tried to help,” Lamle said.

A Montreal police spokesman said the woman was travelling down the escalator toward the subway platform when her scarf got trapped.

“She was going down the escalator, her scarf remained stuck, and she tried to pull on the scarf to try to get it out and her hair also got stuck,” Jean-Pierre Brabant said.

There were media reports the woman was wearing a hijab, but Brabant denied that.

Brabant said investigators will review videos from cameras inside the subway station to find out more.

This is not the first tragic accident in the Montreal subway system in the past year.

In April 2013, a young woman died because she may have been distracted by her cellphone.

Video footage from the subway showed the 20-year-old wearing earphones and staring into her smartphone before she stepped into a gap between two cars.

She was dragged for two stops before commuters noticed blood on the tracks.

(Via The Spec)

Mikel Ruffinelli, 39, a 420-pound woman with an eight-foot circumference, set the new world record for World’s Largest Hips, according to the World Record Academy. The mother of four, from Los Angeles, stands at just 5-foot-4, has a proportionally small 40-inch waist, and is completely content with her shape.

See photos and a video below:

Mikel Ruffinelli The Trent

Mikel Ruffinelli feels good about her body
Mikel Ruffinelli feels good about her body
Mikel Ruffinelli loves her hips just the way they are
Mikel Ruffinelli loves her hips just the way they are

President Goodluck Jonathan | Jonathan Rebboah/Wostok Press/Maxppp France, Paris)

NAN – Nigeria will provide two million dollars to support reconstruction and development in African countries emerging from conflicts,  Dr Nurudeen Mohammed, the Minister of State 11, Foreign Affairs, said.

Mohammed made the announcement on Saturday in Addis Ababa at the inaugural Africa Solidarity Conference (ASF) aimed at mobilising support from within Africa for countries emerging from conflicts.

The minister reaffirmed Nigeria’s commitment to support such countries in capacity building and manpower assistance through its Technical Aids Corps (TAC) scheme.

“Today the scheme is present in more than 50 countries, coordinating the activities of thousands of volunteers in teaching, medicine, law, engineering and research.

“The UN is presently in talks with Nigeria to adopt the scheme as a model for post conflict reconstruction.

“Nigeria hereby offers the TAC platform to AU for partnership in manpower development for post conflict countries,’’ he said.

The minister urged post-conflict African countries to take advantage of the Nigeria Technical Cooperation Fund with the African Development Bank (AfDB).

He pledged Nigeria’s continued commitment to conflict prevention in the region and added that presently Nigeria was contributing 50 per cent of the troops in the ECOWAS mission in Guinea Bissau.

“In Mali we have committed more than 50 million dollars to the stability of that country in addition to the lives of two young Nigerian pilots who died while on a reconnaissance mission.’’

The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Algeria pledged a donation of one million dollars at the conference while Gambia announced a donation of 50,000 dollars.

Rwanda and Botswana pledged capacity in support of the initiative, promoted by South Africa.

In her remarks, Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, the AU Commission chairperson, said the initiative had laid the ground for a paradigm shift from dependence on foreign assistance to African self-reliance.

“It is also a unique opportunity for generating additional “out of the box’’ ideas for addressing challenges and promoting intra-African solutions to the many complex issues facing countries recovering from conflict.’’

Dlamini-Zuma appealed to member states of AU to make concrete commitment, saying “no pledging offer should be considered too small.’’

Also speaking, President Jacob Zuma of South Africa commended the UN Economic Commission for Africa (UNECA) for organising the conference.

He also thanked the teams that conducted a study that offered an understanding into the priority needs of countries emerging from conflicts.

Zuma noted that the initiative provided an opportunity for African states to renew commitment to sustainable peace, security and development.

“This initiative allows us to manage our affairs independently and it is only when we have a sense of ownership that we can address our challenges as a continent,’’ he said.

Representative of post-conflict countries, including Liberia, CAR, Sudan, South Sudan, Cote D’ Ivoire, Mali shared their immediate needs to the conference.

In their presentations, they listed key priority areas of need to include infrastructure, education, economic reconstruction, health and security sector reform.

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