Most of us aren’t born wanting to cheat on our spouses. We all walk down the aisle (most of us anyway) with visions of monogamy and love dancing in our heads, sure that this union — our union — will be the one to beat the odds.
Sadly, not all of us will live up to those hopes and ideals. If 50 percent of marriages end in divorce and 50 percent of spouses are victims of infidelity, then there are a whole lot of cheating spouses out there. But who are they? What are the signs that a person is about to cheat? What are the signs that you are about to cheat? We asked various women who cheated on their spouses to explain what drove them to it and culled their answers into a list of five signs you are about to cheat on your man.
1. Your sex life has dwindled: A lot of the women said that between the stress of raising children and the stress of working, they were having sex less and less. Eventually, some guy caught their eye and boom! They were the cliched housewife sleeping with their personal trainers. Oops!
2. He was your only one: “I was 24 when I got married to my husband just out of college,” says one anonymous source. “I never slept with anyone but him.” This led to her being curious, and curiosity… well, it sometimes kills cats and other times it leads to affairs. She and her husband made it through, but a better way to handle those feelings would have been to be open in the first place. “Once we talked about it, I knew he felt the same way, too. He may have even let me have a free pass if I’d asked. Instead, I almost caused a divorce.”
3. You crave compliments: Sometimes when you’ve been together for a long time, the compliments just kind of stop coming. For many women, that leads to seeking compliments — and other things — elsewhere. Is that his fault? No. But really, compliments are good. Keep them up.
4. You want revenge: One woman cheated because her husband cheated. Another because her husband was a gambler who left them in financial ruin. “I was so pissed, it made sense at the time,” said the gambler’s wife. They eventually divorced.
5. You are feeling neglected: We’ve ALL been there, right? Our husbands are busy and driving us crazy. We are busy and focused on the kids, and all of a sudden, we start to feel like it’s been years since they’ve said what a good job we’re doing or how much they love us. Been there. This is the reason a lot of women end up in bed with another man. Stop it before it gets there! Talk to him. Tell him what you need.
None of these reasons are worth ending your marriage over. All the women we interviewed ended up feeling badly about cheating and didn’t think the heartache was worth it. So take note! There are plenty of better ways to handle marital problems than being unfaithful to your husband.