Is it okay to Baby Trap your boyfriend and bring a child into this world just to satisfy a goal? Apparently some women think this is the thing to do these days. Am I just old fashioned in believing things should happen naturally?
A woman was actually planning – yes, planning in detail – to fall pregnant to her boyfriend by the end of the year without him knowing. Her reasons? Because she was 28, and her goal for the last 10 years was to have a baby by the age of 30.
They had been together for a year or two and had not really discussed having children. Is it okay to do that? Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself before you go ahead and Baby Trap your boyfriend:
- Why Do You Want a Baby? If you are planning to have a baby to save your relationship, think it will be fun, or to satisfy a whim, then think again very carefully. A baby is not a toy or animal that you can give away when you’ve had enough. It is a little person who deserves to be loved, cherished, educated, and happy. Babies cost money. Babies cry. Babies need attention (sometimes all night). Babies get sick. And sometimes, there is no one around to help you.Sure, they are cute and will love you unconditionally in the early years, but they need loving parents. Parents who have talked discussed and decided upon creating a life together, parents who have shared and respected each other’s thoughts and opinions about parenthood. Accidents happen (my best friend had a beautiful accident), but they should never be ‘planned’ accidents.
- What Happens When He Finds Out He’s Been Manipulated? How do you think he is going to feel once he finds out that this pregnancy is based on a lie? How detrimental to your relationship is this going to be? If you are trying to save a failing relationship and he finds out you have orchestrated this baby, there is little chance he will want to be with you. He will feel lied to, cheated, manipulated and trapped. He may decide he will stay for the baby’s sake, but if he does, it’s going to be a long, hard road until the two of you can come together in love again. You will have broken his trust.
- Who is Going to Be There for You if he Leaves? What if he finds out and never forgives you? Or even worse: What if he leaves you?! Sure, he may still provide for you financially, but he is not going to be there for you in the middle of the night when your baby has a raging temperature or is crying. He is not going to be on hand to help change nappies, do the extra washing, help with the feeding or hug you when you feel too overwhelmed.
Your mom, sister, or best friend will be there to help you whenever they can, but unless you are living with them, it’s unlikely they will be there when you really need them, such as in the middle of the night. And if you decide you need extra money and want to work, who’s going to look after your baby when you are out earning the money? Or when they are sick?
Consider Your Decision Carefully
It may be a nice thought, falling pregnant, your fella doing cartwheels around the street, and you two growing old together with more kids and grandchildren, but the probability of that happening is slight – if he has no say in it.
Children are wonderful, beautiful, and amazing beings. Consider your partner, your future child, and then take a long, hard look at yourself. Do you really want to Baby Trap someone and bring a baby into a world based on a lie? Consider your decision carefully. Once you have a baby, you can’t hand it back.