by Dr Gabrielle Morrissey Sex & relationship expert
You’ve heard of a life bucket list but what about in the bedroom? Here are 20 things you can do with minimum effort or preparation but with maximum gain!
1. Tickle the feet
The nerve receptors in the brain for the feet are near those for the genitals, and some believe there is a neural pathway between them so that stimulation of the feet can inspire arousal in the genitals.
2. Enjoy a sugar high
Coat your loved ones genitals in something sweet and enjoy sex while on a sugar high. Mix your sexual arousal with the dopamine rush from sugar for a real rush.
3. Plan a surprise bedroom picnic
Fill your basket with goodies that delight. Make sure you have batteries, and include toys for two, not just vibes for her alone. Pull one bedroom picnic treat out at a time and take turns with each other.
4. Tantric breathing
Use tantric breathing together as a couple to slow sexual response down and increase your concentration and bond – breathing, hearing and feeling each other’s breath creates intimacy and arousal between you.
5. Restrict your or your partner’s movement or senses
This heightens sensation especially when concentrating on one area of body (whenever you’re told don’t, you immediately want to). This is why handcuffs, scarves and ties are so popular!
6. Perform a striptease
Striptease, but instead of being raunchy and showy, do it slowly, like a seductive, sexy undressing for your partner. Famous stripper Gypsy Rose Lee once said “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly”.
7. Fulfil a fantasty
Write a fantasy down and leave it for you lover to stumble upon. Teasing builds sexual tension, heightening pleasure when it arrives.
8. Have a quickie
It not only reminds your partner you desire them in that “must have you now kind of way” but the more often we have sex, the more it spikes our libido.
9. Have cybersex
Log on together and live out a fantasy together as a couple.
10. Make penetration forbidden
Light a candle and focus on foreplay and sexplay in whatever way you want until the candle burns out. Only then is penetration allowed!
11. Caress each other in unexpected places
Share light caresses on places we often aren’t touched during sex play: inside upper arms, eyelids, tops of ears, backs of knees, backs of hands, scalp, back of neck, jawline, armpits – this will stimulate nerves around the body in upredictable places and liven up sexual arousal.
12. Lie on a bed of flower petals
Make love on crushed flower petals. It’s romantic – and fragrant!
13. Shave each other
…then admire and kiss your good work.
14. Give a prelude teaser
While he’s cooking or watching TV, rub his shoulders, then slide your hands down his chest and still further down. Don’t do it all the way then and there – just give a not so subtle hint that you want sex – and him. Take the initiative, he loves it when you do! Eighty five per cent of men would like their partner to take more initiative about the when, where and how of sex!
15. Pulse your pelvic floor muscles during sex
Muscle tensing can help bring on orgasm for you, but the rhythm of your pulsing and tension adds an extra dimension of pleasure for him.
16. Indulge your man with a scalp massage
They hardly ever get them and can have intense reactions of pleasure and relaxation. It’s a great way to get him in the mood if he says he’s had a rotten day and couldn’t be shagged to shag.
17. Don’t just French kiss
Use shallow kisses to stimulate his lips with your tongue and teeth, his lips have thousands more nerve endings than in his mouth.
18. Have a threesome
…with a sex toy and share it equally between/on you both!
19. Keep the lights on
Do it in the day or at night with the lights on – men like to see. And do it in front of mirrors too.
Really. It increases libido. And then later, interrupt your sleep. Sleepy sex in middle of night is one of a man’s top fantasies.