We’ve all had a relationship end because the other person decided it had run its course. While we were still unquestionably in love and planning new things to do together, our ex-partner thought that enough was enough. It’s all over. Time to move on. Time to burn the bridges. Let’s go.
These kinds of breakups make us feel lousy, dejected, and unwanted. Worse still, we sometimes continue to pine after someone and impulsively decide that getting together with a new man immediately will help our wounds to heal. In fact, we know that getting into a new relationship straight away is the absolute right thing to do.
It’s not a rebound relationship, obviously. Nope, we’re totally in love again. Already. Seriously. And this new one really is The One. It’s the Real Deal even if we did meet him in a lift and chatted for 20 seconds.
Can a rebound relationship work?
Sorry, but walking through a brand new door so soon after an old one closed is totally a rebound, and it’s totally the wrong thing to do. And here are 10 reasons why.
Your Ex Still Has Feelings
Okay, yes, it was your ex who broke things off, and for this reason he’s a ‘soul-sucking enemy’ who deserves some sort of punishment. But you have to realise that, even though it was your ex who took charge and decided that things just weren’t working out anymore, he still has feelings and he didn’t intentionally make you feel miserable. He probably still loves you, but knew that your relationship had run its course.
For this reason, you’ve got to be really careful with what you do after a relationship ends. If you run straight into the arms of a hunky new man, it’s going to look really bad. You’ll burn all your bridges with your ex, preventingany opportunity for reconciliation.
You’ll Be Overloaded With Baggage
Sometimes, a breakup is messy. Sometimes, it’s fairly smooth. But however it ends, there will still be baggage, particularly if you really didn’t want the relationship to come to an end.
As such, any baggage that you’re left to pack will still be hanging out of your suitcase if you go straight into another relationship. What will then happen is it will all spill out in front of your new man, killing off any opportunity for a lasting and fruitful relationship.
Your Friends Want To See You Too
You’ve just spent the last twelve months in a relationship, during which your friends barely got to see you. They didn’t complain too much because they knew you were in love, so they largely left you to it. They did complaint to themselves and to each other, though; they just didn’t see enough of you!
Now that you’re free and single again, they’re looking forward to spending some quality time with you.
Unless, of course, you head straight into a rebound relationship, forsaking your friends for a whim.
No, they won’t be happy and they possibly won’t be there for you, either.
You Might Be Taken For A Ride
The new guy probably knows you’re hurting. He probably knows you’re vulnerable. As such, who’s to say that his arms of comfort aren’t actually the tentacles of manipulation? The last thing you want after a breakup is to be taken advantage of. Be on your guard.
You’ll Make A Bad Impression
Think about this for a moment: Your new rebound lover has got friends and family. He’s got a life of his own. His name isn’t actually Mr. Rebound, and he does actually appear throughout life at different points, as opposed to working a few days a year to supply rebound relationships to women like you.
For this reason, you have to be really careful about what you do. If you jump straight into a rebound relationship and play around with this new guys’ feelings, you’re going to make a terrible impression. His friends will call you out when they see that you’re still pining for your ex on Facebook, and his mom will blacklist you when you eventually dump him after 1 week amid accusations that you’re still calling up your ex to make him jealous.
Then There Is YOUR Family …
Don’t forget, you’ve got a family too. Families are normally very supportive and non-judgemental, but if you go straight into a rebound relationship, your behaviour is going to raise a few eyebrows.
ESPECIALLY if they really liked your last boyfriend.
See, families take a lot of interest in your relationships. If they happened to like your last man and understand where he was coming from when he broke it off with you, they’re going to have a few words of advice if you get into a rebound relationship.
You Need Time To Asses Your Emotions
You’ll have no idea how you’re truly feeling if you jump straight into a brand new relationship. When one ends, we lose a piece of us. We’re in a fragile, vulnerable state, and we need some time to assess our emotions.
If you literally feel as though your heart has just been ripped out, ignoring it and distracting yourself with a new relationship is really not the best answer. It’s best to confront how you are feeling straight away, rather than bottle things up until they come out while you’re lying next to a new man who really isn’t ready to deal with your emotions right now (nor does he deserve to).
You Just Might Settle
You’re in a rebound relationship, which means that this new guy is probably not really your type. But because you’re scared of being alone and you’re hurting, you decide that he’s good enough. Before you know it, you’ve settled into a relationship you didn’t even want to be in.
You Might Still Makeup
Breakups aren’t always lasting. Some couples get back together, even if it takes a few weeks or months. It’s often the case that a bit of time apart is good for a relationship, and gives you both the chance to assess where things were going wrong, and how you can resolve any issues.
If, however, you decide to launch yourself into a relationship with the first man you meet in a bar, you won’t allow any chance for a makeup. Yes, it’s quite understandable that you jumped into a rebound relationship, but your partner won’t see it like this; instead, they will assume that your relationship meant little to you, and that you couldn’t wait to have some fun.
You’re Just Afraid Of Being Alone
Living and sleeping by yourself is hard at first. You’ve just spent the last year in the arms of your ex-boyfriend, so readjusting to sleeping alone is tough. As such, it can be easy to jump into bed with the first man that comes along.
This is unfair to him, though. Instead, you should learn to cope with being alone.
Can a rebound relationship work? What are your thoughts?