Chasing after a crush is never easy. We have to be careful not to make it so obvious that we lose our dignity that forces us to never leave the house EVER again, yet we have to make some kind of move to ensure that we win the guy of our dreams.
It’s a bit of a catch 22 situation, but fortunately there are ways out of this conundrum. Let’s take a look at how to hook the man of your dreams without appearing desperate.
Always Keep Your Confidence
Confidence is so important whenever you’re trying anything in life. You need confidence when you apply for a job, confidence on your first day at work – and confidence when you’re chasing your crush.
When you suffer a setback when chasing your crush, it’s important that you retain your super high confidence. If you smile at him from across the office but he doesn’t smile back, don’t backtrack and act as though you were smiling at the person behind him. Continue to act normal. And NEVER look really disappointed to the point of tears. This won’t be cool.
Don’t Lie About Stuff
Things can get really awkward if your crush has different interests to you. Sure, you fancy the pants off the guy, but you know that you don’t really dig any of his interests.
At this point, it can be really easy to lie about your interests and pretend that you like the same stuff as him. But this really doesn’t wash, especially when he asks which songs you like by Metallica.
Instead, you need to be yourself and be honest about your interests. Remember, opposites often attract and it’s not necessary for a couple to have the exact same hobbies.
Go Easy On The Texting
Once he gives you his number, it can be easy to assume that you’re in. You kinda are, but there are still boundaries you need to be wary of.
And one of these boundaries is that you don’t text him too much. If he gives you a few one word answers, or if he doesn’t reply at all, don’t try to keep the conversation going. Leave him be. If he’s interested, he will eventually get back to you. If he isn’t, you should just move on before you lose all your dignity with the trying-to-be-funny-but-you’re-actually-a-psycho “WHY DO YOU NEVER TEXT BACK HAHAHA!” line.
Turn The Tables And Let Him Chase YOU
If you’ve been giving him a few signals that he doesn’t seem to be seeing, you might be about to reach that point where you lose your last shred of dignity. Instead, we suggest that you hang fire for a bit and turn the tables by letting him come after you.
This is an interesting tactic that sometimes works. He might have been playing hard to get and seeing how far you’ll go; by downing your weapons and doing nothing, he might start chasing you!
Or he might not. Hey, men are from mars, women are from venus …
Play With Your Hair
Guys love girls with luscious, long hair. They can’t get enough of it. To catch his attention without doing anything extravagant, you could rely on the old trick of playing with your hair while talking to him. Simple and super effective!
Flirt With Him
Flirting with your crush is certainly not a sign of desperation, and it’s a necessary tactic to let him know you’re interested. Of course, too much flirting can be a sign of desperation, so you need to be disciplined and keep your head.
But flirting is fun, so you should relax and have a bit of fun with him. Make him laugh, make fun of him, and hit him with some banter.
Just avoid sensitive subjects whenever you’re making a joke.
It’s Probably Best That You Avoid Social Media Altogether
When you’re crushing on a guy, you inevitably retreat to Facebook to find out what he’s up to and swoon over his photographs.
As well as this, it can be very tempting to make desperate statuses, plaster his wall with comments and like everything he ever posts. Yes, it’s a way to get his attention but it isn’t very subtle. It can also lead to bitter cat-calling with girls you perceive as your rivals.
When in actual fact they’re his mom and sister.
Don’t go insane: stay away from Facebook when you’re crushing.
Don’t Suggest A Million Plans
Let’s say you’ve invited your crush to go and see a gig with you. You asked him really cooly if he’d be up for it.
“No problem if you can’t make it,” you say. Smooth!
But then he says he actually can’t make it, which is NOT what you expected. In a panic, you suggest something else on another date that he might be able to make. And if that is no good for him too, you even suggest a THIRD thing on yet another date.
No, this is not cool. This is desperation. If he can’t make something, leave it at that. Do some knitting or something.
Remember To Say No
It’s all too easy to turn into an eager beaver whenever we’re crushing with someone. We’re so weak at the knees that we say “yes” to everything they say and ask.
But this can lead to a lot of trouble. Instead of being so eager to please your crush, relax and admit that there are things you disagree on. It will make you seem less desperate, and it might also inspire him to try to win you round to something – which is always interesting.
Complimenting someone can actually be harder than you might think. The key to complimenting your crush is not to go overboard. Just let him know that you like him by telling him he’s got great eyes, hair or a even a great smile.
Just avoid the creepy stuff, such as “you looked great last night” even though you weren’t with him last night.
(You were in the bushes, but don’t tell him that)
Don’t overload him with compliments, either. One or two are enough.