by James Michael Sama
We’ve all heard “oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea” when it comes to dating. But, when was the last time you walked into someone’s house to find hundreds of tiny minnows proudly hung along their mantle?
No. You want the catch. You want the one you couldn’t possibly let go. The one you’d do anything to reel in.
So, how do you know you’ve found a keeper? Here are 10 signs to look out for.
1. She doesn’t look for attention.
The women who don’t look for attention, are precisely the women we should be giving our attention to. Girls who are always looking for compliments or to be noticed, are often insecure and looking to overcompensate. What’s more – is that they’re likely more concerned about their own happiness, than they would be about yours.
Women who are content with their own self confidence and don’t look elsewhere for validation, shine from within and will add to your life. The last thing you need is to be a placeholder for a girl who is just seeking something anyone else can give her. This doesn’t provide any sort of foundation for a solid relationship.
2. She can hold a conversation.
Believe me – I know how important physical attraction is to a relationship. But, believe me when I say that I also know that it’s not the most important thing, when you’re talking long term.
A woman who truly keeps your attention, makes you excited to see her, or just talk to her – every day – is one worth holding onto. An intelligent, well-spoken, witty, funny woman with killer looks, granted is hard to come by – but, who are you to settle for less than you deserve? Nobody, that’s who.
3. She is comfortable in any situation.
Let’s face it, when you’re dating somebody, you’re not alone with them all the time. It’s important to be able to live a full life with them by your side. This means family events, outings with friends, double dates, movie nights on the couch…Not to mention, the activities brought forth by similar interests – which you both should have!
I’ve always used the rule of thumb that if you truly like a girl and feel comfortable bringing her to any social event and leaving her alone if you need to go talk to someone or grab a drink – then she gets major bonus points.
4. She doesn’t start petty arguments.
In a healthy relationship, two people should be able to work out their differences via mature conversation and discussion. This does not mean bringing up nonsensical past issues or dwelling on small events that they’ve been emotionally harboring, waiting for the right time to unleash.
A mature woman won’t throw the past in your face or use it as ammunition against you, especially if she has already forgiven you for your mistakes.
5. She encourages you.
Even the best accomplishments in life seem to lose their luster when there is nobody to share them with. Your significant other should be one of, if not THE first, people you want to tell exciting news to.
Does your girl get excited about things in your life, even if she doesn’t have personal interest in them? Does she stand behind you, and encourage you to chase your goals and dreams? If so, you have found a teammate worth holding onto.
6. She’s your sunshine on a gloomy day (and every day).
Do you wake up every morning excited to talk to her? Or to kiss her on the forehead if you’re there together? Does seeing her name pop up on your phone during a rough day make you forget about all of your worries? Does being with her take you into your own world where nothing else matters?
If you said yes to any of the above, hold onto her, man.
7. She puts in effort for you.
I am all about giving in relationships. Personally, I love to give and do things for my girlfriend. Seeing her happy makes me happy – and I believe if two people both feel that way in a relationship, it will be a success.
Her putting in effort doesn’t have to be much. It can be something as simple as keeping her hair or nails done to look good for you. It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off of longer term relationships, but you shouldn’t let it – and neither should she.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, even after she got you a long time ago, it shows she cares about keeping you around.
8. You can laugh together.
Seriously, how big is this one? Simple, but so important. Life can get you down. Work, bills, obligations – your relationship shouldn’t be something on that list. Your girlfriend should also be your best friend who you can do anything with, and have fun doing it.
If they drag you down, it’s time for a change.
9. You can cry together.
Not everything is sunshine and rainbows. Times get tough, things get hard, and we all need a support system.
Is she there for you when you need her? Are you there for her? If your support is not reciprocated by her, then you need to find someone who understands the importance of your feelings, too.
10. You have similar views for the future.
I know man, the future is way off. It’s a scary place, but it’s still there. If you’re in a solid, committed relationship, it’s important to understand where both of you see yourselves, and the relationship – going.
Does she want a ring within a year? A baby? Dude…are you ready for that? If you’re not – what makes you think that she will forget all about it and that your relationship will coast through time without it being an issue?
Compromise is key. The future of your life cannot be dictated by someone else, but it can be affected by them – and working together to find what makes you both happy in the long run, is key.
(via James Michael Sama)