On your first date— with nerves against you and self-consciousness setting in— it can be difficult to know how to act. Take a look at top tips for that crucial first date
Before the date
1. Get excited but don’t get carried away
Set your expectations too high and you’re going to be really disappointed if he/she doesn’t rock up! Keep your expectations in check and be realistic
2. Put it into perspective
Putting into perspective what a first date is can help reduce anxiety, stress and the temptation to back out last minute!
A first date is about:
– Investing your time and emotions to fully be present on the date
– Getting to know about your date’s life, what they enjoy doing and what makes them tick
– Listening to them and contributing to the conversation
– Seeing whether you can laugh together, make one another smile and whether you feel excited to see them again
3. Have a reality check
A first date is simply a chance to meet someone new, face-to-face, to see whether you get on. That’s it. You might or might not get on with them, but you can at the very least have an interesting chat with them if it’s the latter. The reality is you’re unlikely to hit it off with everyone; you’ll like some a lot more than others and some a heck of a lot less.
4. Make an effort to look great
Look great and you’ll feel great. Wear something you would naturally wear and that makes you feel good. A date is worth the effort to put that extra time in to looking your best.
5. Put thought into the date venue
Planning a date venue where you’ll both have a great time is important. Doing something fun together helps bring out your body language which is a must for forming relationships and bonding. Do something that gets you both moving or that takes the pressure off you both — a comedy club and drinks, a wine tasting class, and mini golf. Whatever it is you do, have some fun.
On the date
It may sound like common sense but if you’re feeling a bit nervous, you can forget to smile. Not only does smiling project confidence but it also raises energy levels, which is exactly what you need plenty on a first date.
7. Remember conversation is a two-way street
Ask plenty of questions and be sure to listen to the answers. Nerves can sometimes get the better of us. If you know you’re likely to be shy on the date, think ahead about the questions you might ask. If the nerves get you chatting nonstop, remember to take a breath and let your date talk. Let the conversation flow.
8. Keep it positive
Exes, a bad day in the office or family problems — keep it to yourself if you want a second date!
9. Don’t expect fireworks
If they happen, great! But don’t go into a date, expecting an instantaneous chemistry. Love and attraction often develops at a slow pace and over time. Don’t rule out someone because you didn’t feel a spark straight away; give things a chance to develop.
10. Make eye contact
Not only does eye contact create a bond between yourself and your date, but it also shows you are giving them your full attention.
11. Relax and stop with the analysis
Don’t spend the date mentally ticking off your dating checklist. Be present, enjoy their company, loosen up and have fun.
After the date
12. Forget the three-day rule
You hit it off? Great, time to get another date in the dairy. Forget about the ‘three day rule’ and drop your date a line the next day to get something sorted.
13. Say Thank You
Even if you don’t plan on seeing one again it’s respectful to thank them for the date and wish them luck on their search. If we were all that little bit more respectful and kind with one another, dating would be so much easier.