Nothing can be more frustrating than being in a relationship with a man who isn’t as mature as you are.
Immaturity is a clear sign of emotional instability. Here’s how you can suss out if your man fits that bill…
Shies from commitment
He may just not want to commit himself to anything in particular. Getting him to spend quality time with you is like getting a tooth pulled out.
Never accepts mistakes
Instead, he resorts to pointing fingers at everybody. He’s not the sort to readily accept the blame. And if in case you manage to hold him responsible for something, he will still find a way to brush off the blame.
No steady job
This man may never have a steady job. Instead you may always find him cribbing about work. Apart from this, you may feel that he lacks ambition and only talks big about himself.
Never had a meaningful relationship
When talking to you about past relationships, he may never mention a long-term one. Instead, he may just talk about one-night stands or a one that just lasted for a month.
Is way too vulnerable
You may often find your man breaking down at the drop of a hat. While it’s okay to feel upset sometimes, when you go overboard in a relationship, it breeds trouble.
Says Pallavi Vaz, 28-year-old advertising professional, “Many times I have felt that I am the one constantly making decisions not only for the growth of our relationship, but also for him. He almost leaves every decision upto me, which is quite frustrating at times.”
Is very inconsiderate
You may find him to be very selfish at times. His priorities are way different and “more important” than yours. You may feel agitated when you find him only thinking about himself and not about anyone else. Further, he may not even take a minute to be rude to someone.
Has no real life plans
Your man may not have an idea about what he wants to do for a living. Says Devyani Parikh, 23-year-old media professional, “My boyfriend prefers to live his life on a day-to-day basis and take things as they come to him.” Such a guy couldcare less about his future or where he will be (personally and professionally) a couple of years down the line.
What do you do if you are already married to such a guy
It is said that women mature faster than men. There are a lot of reasons for this, but one of the main ones is that a man usually looks at responsibility as an enemy, something that would get in his way of living and be a hindrance to having fun. Women are more or less ready to take responsibilities in all its forms.
Don’t take responsibility for his irresponsibilities
One of the mistakes that women make in their relationship or marriage to an immature guy is that they make peace with their husband’s irresponsibilities. The only way you can probably make your husband more responsible and mature is not only by ignoring his irresponsibiltity but also let him suffer the consequences alone. You may have to do this in complete silence. Do not shout at him, lecture him and don’t mother him. He will gradually understand his ways and will start being more responsible.
Even though many women recognise this problem, they fail to communicate in the right way to their partners. If you feel that over time your husband has been immature and shows no signs of maturity, you must talk it out with him. Once you communicate your feelings and your opinions to your husband, he will make a move to taking up more responsibilities for the household, you and your children.
Involve your family in decision-making
Never make any decision alone. Make sure you involve your family and keep them in the loop when talking to your husband about something. This way if things go wrong in your relationship, you will not be the sole person blamed for it. Also, with the help of your family, you might be able to instil maturity in your husband and get him to be more serious in life.
Get help from a counsellor
If you feel marriage is on the rocks due to this nature, it is best you seek help from a professional. This will ensure that your husband communicates his problem better. This will go a long way in helping your husband grow up and mature.