Starting adulthood is hard. You’re in debt, you might not necessarily have a career just yet and all the rules around relationships and dating have changed.
Oh, and don’t even get me started on tax and insurance. How have we turned out so unprepared?!
We were told our 20s were meant be fun, but really it’s more difficult than we could have ever imagined. And the pressure and questions from our elders and even people our own age don’t make it any better.
Here are 13 things women in their 20s are tired of hearing.
1) ‘So, what are you doing with your life?’
Not all of us have a five year plan, or whatever. Most of us are just working it out as it happens.
We’ve got a job and earning money – isn’t that enough for you?
2) ‘You know, when I was your age I had a job/husband/lover/was a millionaire’
Times have changed. It’s harder to get a job, harder to get a house or even pay rent.
Everyone does everything later, and we just wish that would be acknowledged.
It’s not just women in their thirties. Reminders that the end of our ‘getting pregnant easily’ period is approaching are not wanted nor helpful for anyone.
Our 20s are meant to be care-free – leave us alone, fertility doctors.
4) ‘Thirty isn’t very far away…’
Thanks. I mean, it wasn’t like I was counting down the years or anything already…
5) ‘Why are you single?’
Some of us find the one in the first person we go out with; some of us end up facing the start of adult life alone.
That’s just the way it is.
Yet the ‘on the shelf’ comments still come.
6) ‘You’re a bit young to be getting married/having a baby’
The opposite end of the spectrum – getting judged for settling down too early.
I feel for women who are one of the first to get married. They must get sick of people commenting on how young they are to be undertaking such a huge commitment when all they want is just to be happy.
There’s no one way of doing this love thing.
7) ‘You spend far too much time online’
Technology was in the fabric of our upbringing; Instagram is just how we live now.
I bet your parents said the same thing about TV when you were younger.
8) ‘You should be trying dating apps’
Hellooooo. Why do you think I’m on my phone half the time?! Those Tinder matches won’t swipe themselves.
9) ‘Why are you eating that rubbish?! You should be exercising and eating well while you’re still young’
That’s great, solid advice to be fair. We know full well that we should be taking it.
Yet, please don’t judge us if we fall victim to a hankering for a filthy kebab after one too many pinot grigios.
10) ‘You should also be looking after your skin while you’re still young’
Look, we try to take our make-up off and put moisturiser on every night. We really do.
But once we’ve had that kebab and the sleepiness takes over, all we want is our bed.
11) ‘So…how much student debt do you owe?’
It’s a lot, okay. University is expensive these days. Some of us will be paying over £53k, and don’t even get us started on interest.
We prefer just not to talk about it and try not to cry on the inside when our pay checks are deducted. They never told them how expensive life after Hogwarts would be.
12) ‘Living with your parents… must be nice living for free!’
Well, yes, it’s great that our parents are putting us up long after we’ve meant to flown the nest. But that doesn’t mean we like being reminded of it.
Trust me. Nothing will make you feel less independent and less grown up than having to move home with your parents after university because you can’t afford not to.
13) ‘These are the best days of your life…make the most of them’
That’s great but you’ve also said I should worry about where my life’s going, my biological clock, not finding a man and endless debt just to name a few things.
Maybe it’s easier just to accept our 20s will be confusing, weird but also adventurous and kinda exciting. That sounds like a far less stressful way to live.