by Cyma Hote
Before educating you on open relationship rules, it is necessary for you to fully understand what an open relationship is. It is a relationship in which two people like each other and want to see each other but they both mutually agree on the principle of no strings attached. This means while seeing each other they are not bound to see other people as well. The ‘mutually agreed’ point is very importance because if one party to a relation does not agree to it and the other party still sees others then it will fall under the purview of cheating.
But when both of the partners have mutually agreed then they have to take care of some open relationship rules to be followed so that they don’t make a mess out of their relationship. When you are in an open relationship you need to understand and accommodate each other perfectly so that you make your relationship going smooth and full of happiness. If you don’t take care of the open relationship rules then it is highly likely that you go through a period of mental stress and melancholy. Read through the rules given below carefully and try to implement them in letter and spirit in your relationship.
1. SET A TIME FRAME
Open relationship rules focus on two kinds of time frames. The first one is the time frame for which you should see any other lover for example once a month or once a fortnight etc depending on your likes and feasibility. Choose what you feel comfortable with and always manage enough time for both of you to be together so that you don’t feel like a lost and distracted couple desperate for sexual intercourse with other people. The second time frame aims at setting the limit of how long you both want to have an open relationship. You must have a time frame when you will promise yourselves back to monogamous relationship.
2. GIVE FIRST PREFERENCE TO YOUR PARTNER
No matter what it is but don’t ever forget to give your partner the primary and first preference. You should plan way ahead of any movement with your other lovers and let your primary partner know about it so that he or she does not feel like left out or struggling for your attention while you keep hanging out with the secondary lovers.
3. DON’T BRING ANY LOVER HOME
The home which you live in with your open relationship partner is meant for you two ONLY. Don’t ever commit the mistake of bringing any secondary partner at your home. It can prove to be disastrous and devastating for your primary relationship. Open relationship rules may sound weird but that’s how they are. They must be followed. It is for your own good and happiness.
4. SET THE BOUNDARIES
This is a point of paramount importance on the list of open relationship rules. You have to have clear boundaries so you don’t bother your mind with unwanted thoughts. Both of you should chalk out the things that bother you so that you don’t get swayed by emotional surges resulting from something unwanted done by your partner. An open relationship loses its charms if both of you are not complying with each other’s likes and dislikes. Another important thing in setting the boundaries is that both of you respect the other person’s likes and dislikes; no one wants a dictator in any relationship. Relationships are indeed about mutual understanding and respect. Just because you are having sexual intercourse with someone else doesn’t mean you don’t deserve respect. Its just that you are being truthful to yourself and your partner which should be highly appreciated. It is better to be truthful than to be cheating and being dishonest. That is what is called skullduggery and should be avoided at any cost.
5. STAY PROTECTED WITH OUTSIDE ROMANCE
You must consider using protective measures while you are indulging in sexual intercourse or any other sort of romantic activities with other people. Some sexual disease are easily transmitted and you would never want to put your and you partners health at stake just to enjoy the perks of an open relationship.
6. INDULGE IN EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
One of the open relationship rules which can save your open relation from falling apart is indulging in effective communication. Tell each other about all the happenings in your life and keep them updated about your thoughts and whims. You should communicate to the point that if you don’t feel comfortable with any other sexual partner or he/she is bothering you then tell it to your open relationship partner.
7. KEEP THE AIR FAVORABLE
If you want your relation to go smooth and easy then you have to work for it. Just because you are sharing bed with someone else than your partner doesn’t mean that your open relation should suffer. Tell your partner every now and then how much he or she matters to you and how important it is for both of you to be together. This way apart from enjoying the outside spice you will also be able to keep your own relation enjoyable and exciting.
8. DON’T TELL EVERYONE
Most of the people around us are judgmental in the present day world. Lesser people understand you but the count of those who will start judging you by every single action of your is beyond measure. So if you go loud about your open relationship then the chances are ample that people will start judging you and may be get jealous of you or even hate you. Happiness of others is not digested easily nowadays so if you want to remain happy in your open relation then tell as less people as you may.
9. DON’T LET JEALOUSY CREEP IN
Among multiple open relationship rules it is one of the most important. If you are not drawing as much attention to yourself with other people as your partner is getting then it is likely that you will start feeling jealous and things will go a bit topsy-turvy. Fortunately it is very easy for a girl to get attention but the male has to walk an extra mile for it. So if you are not getting that much attention and people with you as compared to your partner then be prepared to curb jealousy if it is cultivated in you in anyway.
10. HIDE THE DETAILS BUT DON’T HIDE THE PERSON
You must know that an open relationship is all about a great balance between delicate things like love, lust and a great amount of trust. So you should consider it an onus to keep the balance that way. And to keep it that way it is advisable that you hide the details from your experience last night with someone else. But don’t ever hide the person as it would create a trust deficit between both of you which is not at all desirable in any relationship. So you better do what it takes to keep the primary relationship going. Secondary relationships are short, compressible and easy to let go so don’t risk your primary open relationship on the basis of that.
11. AVOID MUTUAL FRIENDS
One of the effective open relationship rules is to avoid mutual friends. There are different things between different people. If both of you have mutual friends and your partner starts seeing someone from your friend list whom you don’t quite like then this thing can make it difficult for you two to keep happy in your open relationship.
12. TEST THE WATERS FIRST
In an open relationship, you must analyze consequence your actions create. For example after a party at night or after hanging out with a hooker for a night or day you should tell it to your partner the next time you see each other. Not just tell them but also analyze the reaction. See if there is any jealousy or ill will in the air. If it is then you might consider reviewing the status of your relation so that things don’t start getting sour with the passage of time.
13. BE PREPARED MENTALLY FOR OPEN RELATIONSHIP
One of the most important open relationship rules is to be prepared for what you are going for. If you don’t set the limits for both of you in the beginning of the relationship then it is likely that after passing some time together you will find it difficult to agree on mutually devised rules. So it is better to be clear about what your relation will be like beforehand.
(via OlWomen)
