What if someone told you that your reaction when you spot a hot chick, and when you encounter a terrorist is identical.
Well, there’s research to back it. If you bump into the woman you’ve been eyeing and get so flustered that you forget to even smile, you have just exhibited what’s called the fight-or-flight response. It’s the same as when you anticipate an attack by a wild animal.
However, if every encounter with an attractive specimen of the opposite sex leaves you running in the opposite direction, you need help in the art of flirting.
Step one: Does s/he like you?
Let’s get a few things straight. Eye contact can set your heart aflutter, but if that’s all, then your Saturday nights are going to be spent watching romcoms on loop (or playing fantasy football). Have a conversation with your man/ woman. Once you do that, it’s easier to judge where you stand in their opinion.
According to a recently released book by howstuffworks. com, The Real Science of Sex Appeal, when someone is flirting with you, they will use your name repeatedly during the conversation, compliment you, be curious about your interests, lean in while talking to you, try and stand close to you and perhaps brush your arm or knee. And, of course, they’ll smile a lot. Using these parameters, you can judge how interested the person is in you. If you receive one or two of these signals, it’s probably a no-go, but if it’s four or more, you may have hit bull’s eye.
This is for the guys: women use ambiguous gestures when they are flirt — like touching their hair. Termed protean signals by America’s Social Institute Research Centre, these signals get their name from the Greek shape-shifting god Proteus. If after using the gesture, she learns the man’s not interested, she can always play it off as regular.
Step two: Mingle
This is probably the most difficult aspect of a social interaction. You have to say you are interested without appearing too eager. How do you do it?
You may think it’s a bit of a task but flirting could sometimes just be about being a little fun. Instead of sitting in a corner of the bar, contemplating the effects of alcohol on the human brain, allow yourself to be part of a social experiment. Get a little liquid courage (if you are drunk, you are better off paying the bill and leaving the bar) and speak to the woman you like. But please, for the sake of all woman-kind, stay away from cliched lines: have I seen you at so-and-so-place?; Are you so-and-so? Try introducing yourself and if you could buy her a drink.
The task is a little uphill for women. Much as we’d like to believe we live in a modern world the truth is that when it comes to asking someone out on a date, it’s still a man’s job. So, let the man know you are interested. Lock your eyes for a bit, touch those curls, darling, smile and look away. If he isn’t at your table in 10 minutes, you have been looking at the wrong guy.
Step three: The chase
Batting your eyelids and cracking a self-depreciating joke will only get you so far. Here’s the ground rule: Both men and women crave for what their friend has. So, if you want a particular guy or girl to get interested in you, it’s a good bet to also flirt with their pal a bit. Jake, the author of Always Hit on the Wingman: … and 9 Other Secret Rules for Getting the Love Life You Want, writes that if men think something is easily attainable, they think it might not be worthy of them. The guy has to see you as a challenge, a trophy he will get after a hard fight. So, if you want a guy, flirt with his friend or better yet, someone he would consider better than him in the room. But remember the golden rule: Play hard to get, not impossible.
And this works for women too.
If you play your cards right, you could have a date with a real human this Saturday night, instead of your tablet PC.
