Marriage can be wonderful, but it can also have ups and downs. Allowing the “downs” last too long can have far-reaching negative effects on any marriage. It is vital for couples to fix their unhappy marriage in a timely manner, and with lasting solutions.
Married couples sometimes go through rough patches because two different people with different attitudes, mind-sets, ideologies, and life experiences come together to build a life. However, when they can understand their innate differences and find common ground, they are more likely to have a successful marriage.
There are many approaches to fixing marital problems; these are four keys to fix an unhappy marriage.
1. Understand the Signs of a Troubled Marriage.
To fix a troubled marriage, couples first of all have to understand the signs of a troubled marriage. Sometimes couples ignore marital problems or fail to understand the signs. Often one person in the relationship can be happy and fulfilled, while the other person is frustrated and suffering silently because their needs and expectations are not being met.
Some of the signs of a troubled marriage are a lack of trust, lack of intimacy, the state of being happier when the spouse is away, lack of communication, no longer having fun, the marriage feeling like a chore and burden, and disagreeing more often than usual.
The first step to fixing what is broken is to realize that the marriage is troubled. You have to be honest about it, and communicate to your partner that there are indeed issues in your marriage that need fixing.
2. Get Marriage Counseling
A professional dispassionate third party can help fix problems in marriage. Free marriage counseling is a good option because it helps to fix problems in marriage with low-cost options. The counselor would be a trained professional who would understand the issues from the perspective of both parties and proffer a solution.
When communication in a marriage has stalled, a therapist or counselor helps to kick of the communication required to work through issues in the relationship.
3. Be Committed To Fix It
It is important for the couple to be committed to fixing the marriage. If only one person or none at all is committed to fixing it, but are already set on separation or divorce, then the chances of repairing the relationship are significantly diminished.
A divorce affects everyone involved in the marriage including the couple, children, in-laws, and associates of the couple. The personal and social life of the couple is affected by a divorce. So if the marriage is worth saving, the couple should decide early on in the process to jointly take divorce off the table, commit to fixing the issues, and devoting themselves to the process of repairing the marriage.
They should have a meeting or series of meetings where these issues are decided on with clarity, and commitments made regarding the way forward.
4. Break the Routine in Your Married Life
A change of scene and routine can be invigorating for individuals. In marriage as well, routine can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. Married couples, especially when they have been married for the long need to make an effort to break the routine in every aspect of their relationship.
Surprise, affection, and passion are ingredients that help to break the routine that creates dissatisfaction. Each person in the relationship needs to do this and think of ways they can create surprise and show affection towards their spouse.
When couples commit to fixing their troubled marriage, they should give each other time to adjust and change as they work through the issues while acknowledging that people change and grow.
Growth is a part of marriage while openness, communication, and commitment are crucial if a couple will fix their troubled marriage.
Restoring love, trust, passion, emotional connection, and purpose will set the marriage on the right track.