by Anna Bella
Is your man dating his cell phone while dating you? Does he spend more time looking at it than looking at you? Do you have to text him to get his attention? If so, you need to stop this love affair he’s having with his cell, and get his eyes back on you!
1. Lead By Example and Show Him When It’s Okay To Use His Cell Phone
What cell phone etiquette do you yourself follow when you are out with friends? Do you have your cell on and in sight? Or do you have it sitting there, but on silent? Perhaps you just turn it off, put it completely out of sight, and focus all your attention on your friends? If you follow appropriate cell phone etiquette, then show your man what that is.
Don’t Tell Him What To Do – Nobody likes to be told how to behave or what to do – especially adults. So if you start whining to your man that he’s spending all his time on his cell, he’s just going to block you out and look at it even more. Or he’s going to put it away, but make multiple trips to the bathroom when you are out and carry on his love affair with it in secret.
Show Him What To Do – It’s best to lead by example instead of having him feel you are attacking him or nagging him. If you two are out to dinner, and the cell phones are out, make a point of saying, “Great! Food is here, I’ll put my cell away now.” And put it in your handbag. If he’s a respectful sort of guy, he’ll do the same.
If you must have it out in case of work or children issues, say, “I don’t usually like to have my cell with me when I’m having dinner, as I’d rather concentrate on you. However, would you mind if I put it on silent and leave it out in case the baby sitter calls? It’s her first time and I want to be on hand in case anything goes wrong.”
That’s a reasonable request and you are letting him know these few things at the same time.
a) He’s more important than a cell phone
b) You don’t usually like having a cell phone on display (so he should respect that)
c) If you must have it out, it’s on silent and will only be answered for emergencies.
2. Show Him Poor Cell Phone Etiquette
If he is the type that needs multiple demonstrations before he ‘gets it’, start pointing out the poor manners of other people. As you are out and about, make comments on the number of couples who are engaging on their cells rather than with each other.
Point out the poor girl who is sitting there, looking quite bored, as the guy she’s sitting with, sits on his cell. There are hundreds of examples to be found. At restaurants, at the mall, in the park – even driving along in the car.
It doesn’t have to be about you or him, but about other couples in society.
3. Talk to Him About His Cell Phone Addiction
If he is a reasonable and chatty type of guy, he may just be open to discussion about it. Once you have pointed out the obvious cell phone addiction others have, ask him what he thinks of it. Be positive in whatever comments he makes and don’t pass judgement on him. You want him to open up so that you can get his opinion, not open up so you have a chance to shoot him down.
He may actually see what others are doing as poor manners, but doesn’t see it in himself. This would be the time to give your opinion (without mentioning his behavior) and ask what cell phone guidelines he thinks you two should establish when you are together. Come to an agreemen,t and make sure there is give and take on both sides.
For instance, if he thinks it’s okay to be on the phone up until food is served, agree with that, but join him. Go on your phone or sit close enough to him that you can see what he is doing and interact with him. If he’s on social media, ask him to show you the latest Vine or show him a funny post you have just put on Facebook.
When you are with family or friends, let them know what you two are doing about cell phone etiquette. It will allow further discussion in a group setting and encourage him to open up more about the issue.
It will also cement the boundaries you two have set so that they soon become second nature.
4. Get Respect
If he still doesn’t take the hint after taking the ‘softly, softly’ approach, try being direct. Tell him outright that what is happening is hurting you and you would like things to change.
At the end of the day, it’s all about respect. If you have shown him, spoken to him and asked him to spend more time with you than his cell, and he still chooses the cell phone, then it might be time to text him ‘goodbye‘, and find someone who is into you more than his cell.
Anna Bella is a relationship and romance writer, having spent over a decade exploring different dating avenues before finding her perfect match on a cruise ship. Now she helps others find their own perfect match and helps to keep their relationship alive over a lifetime. Anna Bella loves sharing her quotes and messages through Facebook and Instagram.