Common sex troubles
Sex has been idealised so much in movies and magazines that we’d be forgiven for thinking that we’re the only people in the world who encounter a few problems in the bedroom department. As the realistic world of painful sex, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation attests, sex isn’t always about lacy lingerie, sheet-grabbing pleasure and perfectly-timed orgasms…
Sex problem 1: Too tired
Feeling too tired to have sex is a common reason for the lagging lovemaking sessions of couples across the world. The truth is though, if you’re feeling tired then a good sex session is probably what you need; the endorphins you release when you’re doing the deed help to wake you up and make you feel revitalized. Certified sex therapist Dr Roger Libby explains that sex “liberates endorphins, which increases energy and libido.” He goes on to explain that “if someone says they’re too tired to have sex, it’s either an excuse or they’re over doing it.” We’re guessing that, as you’re reading an article on sex problems, you’re probably not experiencing the latter option so, if your sex life is dwindling because you feel too tired, break that no-sex cycle and you’ll be feeling refreshed and ready for round two in no time!
Sex problem 2: Erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction – or impotence – is caused by a number of factors such as stress, alcohol, diabetes and depression. Luckily, this problem is so common that there are a number of different ways to treat it including sex therapy, vacuum pumps and medication. If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction because you’re feeling anxious – for whatever reason – about having sex, practice a few relaxation techniques to help you feel less pressurised into getting an erection. The more relaxed you are, the more successful you’re likely to be.
Sex problem 3: No time
After working all day, cleaning the house, cooking the tea and/or doing similar activities, it comes as no surprise that we’re left feeling more scruffy than sexy and like there’s little time left to even consider sex. Indeed, researchers from the Kinsey Institute in the United States carried out a survey of 853 women between the ages of 20 and 65 and found that today’s women have less sex than their 1950s counterparts. There’s a good chance that this is down to the increase in technology. Dr Bancroft, who carried out the study, said that we now “live in an age where there is little unfilled leisure time. Sex used to fill that gap.” While you may think you have no time for sex, try cutting out the time you spend on the computer or watching television and replace that time with sex.
Sex problem 4: Low libido
Whether it’s because you’re conscious about your body or you’re feeling a little down, all of us experience low libido at some point in our lives. In men, the most common cause of a low sex drive is a lack of testosterone, while in women it’s the transition into menopause. In these cases, it’s best to speak to your doctor to find out what treatment is best for you. Low libido may also be down to stress or anxiety and there’s a good chance that you’ll soon break out of this sexual dry spot in your own time. To make this blip a thing of the past, make sure your bedroom is a place to relax; don’t let it be a place for arguing or talking about serious problems. Once you’ve got the setting right, make sure you and your partner have time to relax too; go on date nights or simply watch TV in bed with a cup of tea – your sex life will be back in a flash!
Sex problem 5: Premature ejaculation
It can make you feel pretty inadequate if you find yourself having your ‘big moment’ before your partner, or sometimes before you’ve even started having sex. Maybe you’re having sex with a new partner and you feel nervous? Perhaps you haven’t had an orgasm in a while so you’re feeling super sensitive? Whatever the reason, there are plenty of methods you could use to prevent it. From condoms that make the penis less sensitive, to certain prescribed antidepressant drugs, there will be something out there suitable for you so it’s worth speaking to your doctor.
Sex problem 6: Vaginal dryness
Ouch! Vaginal dryness is one of the most common sexual problems experienced by women and it isn’t pleasant. The root of the problem is usually down to your hormones; lower levels of oestrogen make your lady regions become dry and more fragile. If vaginal dryness is making sex uncomfortable for you, try using a water-based lubricant and make sure you have plenty of foreplay before sex. If the problem persists, your doctor should be able to provide you with an oestrogen cream to sort the problem.
Sex problem 7: Boring sex
We think it’s fair to say that nobody has perfect movie star sex every day. Sometimes we find ourselves wondering when it’s going to end and the big ‘O’ just doesn’t seem to make an appearance. If you’re finding yourself getting a little bored between the sheets, you’ve probably just become too comfortable with the sex you’re having. The simple solution to this problem is to break out of your sexual rut and try something new. Spice things up a little with dirty talk, massage, or new positions. Va-va-voom!