Do you just want to have sex, or do you want to experience mind-blowing, toe-curling, lip-biting lovemaking? I know what my answer is. Don’t get me wrong, vanilla sex has its purpose. But if you prefer sex of the mind-blowing variety, you need to add foreplay to your repertoire. Sex doesn’t just have to happen in the bedroom after the kids have gone to bed.
Start building the sexual tension early in the day by way of some sexy flirtation or a teasing touch here and there. Linger just a bit longer in your good-morning kiss. Throw some tongue in there. Send him out the door with you on his mind. Whispering sweet nothings into a lover’s ear or sending a sultry midday sext can go a long way in the seduction department. These are little things that we take for granted after being with someone for a while, but we shouldn’t. It’s time to get your groove back, girl.
1. Blindfold your lover
The heightened sensitivity caused by eliminating your sight adds excitement and crazy anticipation that will have you chomping at the bit before every touch or nibble. Blindfold one another, and then undress one another slowly. Between the buildup and the teen-like fumbling, you will find yourself engulfed in passion in a matter of minutes. For extra points, try using feathers or fingertips to trace your favorite body parts of your lover. It will prolong the ecstasy.
2. Forbidden rendezvous and the quickie
If you really want to amp up the foreplay, how about planning a semi-public rendezvous at your lover’s office, the back of the L train late at night or the supply closet at the Christmas party? The excitement comes from sneaking around. Send a sext telling your lover that you are touching yourself thinking of him or send a pic of your naughty bits, pack your panties into his lunch, show up commando, lock the door to his office and let your imagination go wild. Never underestimate the quickie; if you are already hot and bothered, you can’t imagine how satisfying a quickie can be for both of you.
3. Dress for sex
How you dress for the occasion says a lot about you. You can dress sexy for your partner and tease him with a little skin to remind him just how hot you can be. Or dress up in a costume and role-play to bring a little spice into the bedroom. If you really want to amp things up, do a spontaneous strip tease. I know it sounds a little bolder than some of us may believe ourselves to be, but believe me, while you are worrying about whether or not he can see that dimple in your thigh all the blood has rushed from his head.
4. Back-door massage
While this may have never crossed your mind, and most men won’t ask for it, if you want to go straight for your guy’s sweet spot, offer up a little anal play. Simply use a little lubrication on your fingers and his anus. Gently and slowly, insert a finger two to three inches inside. Curve your finger toward his belly button and stroke the ridge. You will blow his mind with this risque, unexpected move.
5. Touch yourself
Not in the usual ways, though that works well too. Surprise him by sensually pressing his penis to various parts of your body, his tip to your nipple, his shaft to your lips or between your breasts. Think of it as teasing him with a taste of what is to come.
6. Be the boss
Take charge in bed. Tell your guy to lie down and then tie him up. Then playfully tease him with some soft nibbling on his ears and move your way to his clavicle, nipple, navel… then to his pelvis and then back up to his mouth. Ask him if he likes what you’re doing. He’ll be so hot and bothered he won’t be able to stand it. Make him beg, then surrender to him completely.
7. The no-hands game
This could be my new favorite bedroom game. Tell your partner he can do anything he wants to you but he is not allowed to use his hands. You won’t believe how creative he will get. The added challenge will make it exciting and so much more fun. You will likely find yourselves squealing with delight in the middle of one of the most intense lovemaking sessions that you have ever experienced.