Can anyone go wrong when complimenting a woman? No, right? But relationship counsellors warn, more often than not, women don’t hear what you intend to tell them, or hope to convey. They become both, sensitive and speculative. Here are common compliments that tend to backfire.
1. Looking young
Most women spend their entire teenage lives putting on makeup and buying clothes that made them look older. But when they finally hit their 20s, they like to dress young and so, want to hear just that. But when you actually tell your 20-something-girlfriend, ‘looking young’, she thinks you are referring to her small bust size. No woman wants to hear that her bosom reminds you of the size befitting a 14-year-old. Be careful with the words there.
2. You look pretty when you smile
What does that mean, she wonders. Does this mean she isn’t otherwise? Besides, who walks around with a permanent grin 24/7. Being told to smile on command is like being told to do a dance in front of an audience. Women are not puppets. Instead, their face will light up when you actually make them laugh. So work harder on your witty quotient.
3. I love your personality
This sounds like a wonderful compliment to give. And your partner may probably smile politely and thank you for your words. But dating experts point out that even if your woman has adynamic personality, or is a total geek, she may still want to hear how gorgeous she is and how you love her lustrous mane. So, go ahead and tell her how her pretty face compliments heramazing personality.
4. You are different
Women hate to hear, ‘You are not like the other girls I have dated’. They have spent most of their teenage years hoping to stand out for the guy they have had a crush on, hoping that they have that ‘something special’ that makes him choose her over the rest. So while they may initially blush, they will be quick to realise the subtext: we are with a guy who thinks all girls are rubbish, even if we’re apparently the exception. Not cool.
5. You naive little one
No woman wants to hear that you think of her as naive or innocent. Not only does this mean you think of her as your little sister (gulp), but the subtext is also that she hasn’t done anything that would qualify as experience (read between the lines). To prove you wrong, she might spend the next few meetings bringing up every edgy encounter she may had just to prove you wrong.
6. You know how to have a good time
Even if it seems like an innocuous comment to pass, and makes her sound more fun and less boring, she thinks you think that she’s the one who’ll be up for endless nights of partying, watching porn, and kinky sex, and sometimes, ‘easy’. No woman wants to hear she comes off as easy to get into bed. So, sorry guys. Think of something better.
7. You’re too smart for a girl
Woah! That’s being too chauvinistic. Women in scientific and legal fields tend to hear this sort of sexist comment too often. It is the kind of stuff that a woman with a mind should dump you for.
8. Looking healthy
Of all the things, women are sensitive about their weight. Even if your intention is sincere and you mean well, what she will hear is, ‘you’d look better if you shed a few kilos’. Avoid telling her she looks healthy. Remember her ears hear, ‘fat’.