I have had men ask me to write about my methods on how to make a girl orgasm since 2007, when I first mentioned the results I get with sex online… and I’ve always declined to write them.
But sex… that’s an experience. And I’ve somewhat jealously guarded how to create the kind of experience I like creating for women through sex.
My goals with sex were the same as my goals with seduction: sex to me should be
- Powerfully effective,
- Efficient to execute, and
- Easy to do
Once I started working on getting sex down as a skill, I was able to give girls relatively hard orgasms within 10 or 15 minutes, on average. I gradually cut this down to about 5 to 10 minutes or so.
And right away, I was stacking powerful multiple orgasms from penetrative vaginal sex, one after another – the holy grail of sex performance for most men.
All those other guys out there were talking about giving girls orgasms with their hands or mouths… I laughed at that. I was giving them orgasms with ME.
And I didn’t want to talk about it… because sex is the great differentiator. If everybody else knows how to do what I know how to do in the sack, well, all those rip-roaring orgasms I just gave her aren’t really anything all that special… she can go get that from anybody.
But what I’ve realized over the years is, no matter how clear you make something for someone, no matter how simply you present it to him… if it requires even a little bit of work, most men are unlikely to ever use it.
If you use these techniques with the women you sleep with, it will change sex, women, and relationships for you forever.
But most men are never going to bother.
So, fears of getting out-competed by men using my own techniques against me set aside, I’m going to share with you how you can make girls orgasm hard, fast, and multiple times, using nothing but your member – and a little bit of work.
I usually like to start off articles like this with some theory, so that you understand a) WHY we’re doing things a certain way, and not another way, and b) how to improve on them yourself, and how to change courses and improvise on the fly when you find yourself in novel situations I haven’t discussed in an article.
With a good grasp of the theory, you wind up not needing a whole lot else.
So here’s what you need to understand about sex that virtually nobody tells you (because virtually nobody is aware) and that makes all the difference between being okay at sex and being rock star good in bed.
Just like attractiveness and seduction have certain underlying fundamentals that – if you’re hitting these notes right – make these things a breeze, so too does sex.
Most of the sex fundamentals I learned as a teenager without ever having sex. At the time, I was trapped by my own social phobia without friends and without girlfriends or lovers, and I figured if I ever got a girl I really liked, then I REALLY wanted to make sure she didn’t ever want to leave.
One of the keys to this, I knew, was sex.
More specifically, giving a girl orgasms. Lots of orgasms.
I heard a lot of things growing up, about how sex is something you’re supposed to work through or talk about with your partner or whatnot, and it’s important, but the bond between too people is more important. I never put much credence in the things people say though, and from what I could tell from looking at people’s actual relationships, sex seemed to be all-important.
In fact, it seemed to be THE most important thing there was.
A woman could HATE a guy… but if he gave her incredible sex, she’d keep coming back for more.
Or, she might think a guy was the most wonderful fellow in the world… but if he couldn’t perform, she’d soon be gone, off in the arms of another man who could.
So, I studied. I needed to be not just good at sex, but incredible at it, as soon as I got going.
I wanted to land on my feet as quickly as possible.
I learned how to give women orgasms manually, orally, and anally. I learned these so well, in fact, that the first time I ever gave a girl oral sex, she orgasmed quickly, and angrily called me a liar for telling her I was inexperienced. She never believed me that I’d never done it before, and never really trusted me after that “lie.” I told her I’d just watched a video on giving oral sex; she told me no one gets that good from watching a video.
But most of all, I studied how to give women orgasms vaginally.
The stuff I was reading about the “G-spot” was a bit too complicated for me… I couldn’t really figure out where it was or what to do with it (in fact, I’ve never really sat down to figure this out… Ricardus talks about it fairly in-depth in his article on how to be a good lover, though, and it does seem to be pretty useful).
I eventually decided that, based on everything I’d studied and read, these were the fundamentals of sex:
- Passion is key. Sex is every bit as much a mental and emotional experience as it is a physical one. Women had the most exciting, fulfilling experiences with passionate men… and by nature, I am one of the most dispassionate individuals you will meet. I knew I needed to simulate passion, and eventually learn it for real.
- Physical contact is best maximized. Another thing I suspected was extremely important was maximizing physical contact – getting your skin contacting as much of her skin as possible. This makes the sex much more personal, and much less clinical, and increases the release of pleasure and bonding hormones that occurs with skin contact between a man and a woman.
- You need both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. What I was reading again and again and again was that women wished more men would stimulate their clitoris during sex, and so many men were ignorant of this. Yet, the clitoris was outside and above the vagina… and I didn’t want to be just using my hand or my mouth, because
- Penetrative sex is REAL sex. Just like she’s not really your girlfriend if you’re not having sex with her, it’s not really sex if your penis isn’t in her. Women know this, and while they enjoy men who give them orgasms with other parts of their bodies – tongues, fingers, hands, sex toys – these men aren’t real men the way men who make women cum with their penises are. If you want to maintain a woman’s respect and attraction at the uppermost levels – and in my mind, that’s the #1 reason to bother giving her orgasms at all in the first place – you need to be making her cum with your penis, not your tongue / fingers.
- Rhythm is non-negotiable. Hidden deep within the tomes I was reading on sex, I discovered an emphasis on rhythm that seemed largely devoid from much of the lighter and more mainstream sex advice stuff I perused. Rhythm was why women found men who danced well sexy and suspected they’d be good in bed – and it was also why once a girl went black she didn’t go back. Black men – on average – had rhythm; white men – on average – did not. I further learned that women enter a trance-like state during good, rhythmic sex, that is necessary for and precedes orgasm. The men shifting around and thrusting arrhythmically prevent women from ever entering this trance – and prevent them from ever climaxing, too.
- Dominance is mandatory. Women want to be taken… not asked. I learned that asking her, “Is this okay?” or, “Was that good for you?” are big no-nos that make you seem inexperienced and like you don’t know what you’re doing. A woman wants to feel like you know her body better than she does, and know what’s best for her better than she does… she wants to be able to just relax, enjoy the ride, and let you do what you know how to do so well without having to worry or think about anything other than how good it feels and how good you are. You must know what you’re doing, and tell her what to do / move her around dominantly and confidently and self-assuredly.
There were other things I found that were useful and important, like using your voice during sex, and doing things like gripping and pulling her hair (when behind her), smacking her butt, etc.
I also read about how important foreplay was – but I didn’t consider that a fundamental, because my belief was that if you’re incredible at penetrative sex, once you get there she’ll be having so much pleasure she’s not going to care if you didn’t tease her for 15 minutes first.
I do use foreplay – sometimes – if I want to build up a girl’s anticipation and get her cumming faster and harder than she would without it.
But it’s certainly not mandatory. If you know what you’re doing in bed, you can go in with no foreplay and still have her cumming hard in minutes.
(via Girl Chase)