Unfortunately, even in the best of relationships, there will always be some arguments; that is just an unavoidable fact of life. What you can control, though, is how you fight and how quickly you bring an argument to a close. What is important is not the winning, though, let’s be honest, that can be quite satisfying! No, what’s important is getting back to the fun side of the relationship, so read these ten tips on how to argue with your boyfriend and win, the fair way.
1. Keep your cool
Losing your temper won’t ever win you an argument. All it is likely to do is to make your argument less convincing and it might even make you say things you later regret. It is also very likely to make your boyfriend lose his temper as well and then, you won’t get anything resolved, so try and keep calm and get your point of view across, without shouting.
2. Don’t try to hurt him with your words
When things get really out of control, it can be easy to let rip with the insults and the cutting remarks. If you do let this happen, the satisfaction will only be very short lived and what is said at the height of an argument can be remembered for a very long time to come.
3. Don’t use the silent treatment
No argument in the world is going to be resolved if you are not talking to each other, so don’t think that the silent treatment will work. This will only prolong the dispute and the bad feelings between you will grow. It is much better to get things out in the open and try to clear the air.
4. Let him talk
There could be a reasonable explanation for whatever it is he has done to upset you, so you have to give him a chance to explain. If you make the fight to be one sided, he will eventually stop trying to sort things out and just give up, and then nothing will be sorted out at all.
5. Give him a chance to think
Lets’ be honest, women can sometimes escalate a situation into a fight pretty quickly and the guy hardly has time to pause for breath, let alone think about what he might have done wrong. Sometimes it is best to get your pint of view across and then, give him time to think about it. That way he will either see the error of his ways or come up with an explanation or excuse for his behaviour.
6. Don’t drag up the past
Another tip on how to stop fighting with your boyfriend is to let the past stay where it belongs – in the past. If you make this argument a good excuse to bring up all the arguments of the past again, you are going to be at it for days! Stick to the point and don’t drag up a list of all his faults to use as weapons, or the real issue will be lost in a general tit-for-tat squabble.
7. Stick to logic
Men understand logic and they’re not too good at emotions, so stick to the facts and make your argument logical and he will have little to fight you back with. If you lose your temper and, along with that, any logic that was in your argument, he will quickly pounce on that and he will turn it to his advantage.
8. Let him know how upset you are
Next tip on how to stop fighting with your boyfriend is to let him know how you feel. If he has really hurt you or upset you then tell him so. Most guys hate the thought that they have truly hurt someone and they will be more likely to want to take that hurt away. Faced with just anger, though, they will simply fight back.
9. Tell him that you don’t want to argue
Men do actually believe that women like a good argument, so make sure that he knows that this is a serious issue that needs discussing and not just arguing for the sake of arguing. Tell him that you don’t want a fight, you just want the problem solved and he will try harder to resolve it with you.
10. Don’t try and get the last word
Arguing really isn’t fun; so, when a fight has run its course, just let it go. Trying to score an extra few points by getting in the last word will only make the fight flare up again and, if a compromise has been reached or an apology made, then there is no point in making the bad feelings last any longer than they need to.
Do you have some other tips to share for when you are arguing with your boyfriend?