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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

An Open Letter To Good Men: Women Are Looking For You

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by James Michael Sama
Gentlemen,

There is an unfortunate stigma that revolves around society which tells us that women don’t appreciate good men. That if you want to get a woman’s attention, you’ve got to be a jerk. Or, even worse, the supporting stigma out there is that good men are becoming harder and harder to actually find.

Because of this, fewer and fewer men are putting in the effort to be ‘good’ because they don’t think their efforts will be noticed. We can easily see how the cycle begins: Men do not think women appreciate good guys, so fewer guys act in this way, causing women to become convinced there are no good men left. Rinse, repeat.

The other day I put a status up on my personal Facebook page, it was the following:

I believe men are understanding that a beautiful face means nothing without a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind. Good, mature, established men are recognizing the value of having a teammate in life. Someone he can take on the world with. Someone he can share ideas and discuss life with. Someone who can stand on her own and is with him because she wants him, not because she needs him.

This paragraph, an excerpt from a recent article of mine, stirred up a bit of a discussion. The interesting thing about it was that out of about 30 comments, only one of them was from a man – the rest were from women asking where they can actually find men who think in this way. I was hoping for other men to step in and back me up. To confirm what I was saying is true. To tell the multiple women commenting that we do, in fact, want to find someone with these qualities.

No such luck.

Needless to say, when I write articles and quotes I write them from my own personal perspective. I write from the heart and according to what I really think and believe. In turn, I write on behalf of the good men out there who think and feel the same things that I do. Unfortunately, though, I am beginning to face more and more challenges from this.

Mostly, challenges from women. The “Where are these men?” comments are not exclusive to this one post. They happen often, any time I write something from the male perspective suggesting that we love and appreciate mature, driven, intelligent women. They happen when I write about how men crave depth and integrity in women. I am frequently questioned by women who possess these qualities but feel eternally unappreciated.

The truth is, guys, you’re starting to make a liar out of me. I know I cannot be the only one of us out there willing to voice these feelings on the topic.

Men, I know many of you out there feel unappreciated too. I know you have great qualities and are kindhearted, genuine, and giving. So, this makes me wonder, are you hiding these traits for fear of putting yourself out there and being unappreciated? Are you just saying you want a teammate in life but in reality just want a woman to follow you around like a puppy dog?

The fact of the matter is that good men and women are out there – but they feel as though their attributes go overlooked and therefore stop displaying them to the world. We should never allow someone’s lack of appreciation of us alter our nature. Our value and self worth comes from within, not from the approval of others; that’s why it’s called self worth.

Women want to believe you still exist. They want romance, courtship, chivalry, and respect. They want your love and your loyalty. And they want to give you all of these things in return.

Stay strong, stay positive, and stay true to yourself – the right woman will love everything about you that the wrong women took for granted.

Stand up, gentlemen. The women of the world are looking for you.

This article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. Check out his Twitter and Facebook.

(via The Good Men Project)

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