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Saturday, April 20, 2024

Opinion: The Mathematics of Saraki’s Trial – 16 Questions About 13 Things

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by Oluwaseyi David Tosin

Most Nigerians have been following the recent happenings in the country between the head of the legislature, Senator Abubakar Bukola Saraki, and the puppet masters holding the strings of the Code of Conduct Bureau. Personally, as I watched the events unfold, I could not help but notice some unanswered questions concerning this case and since I couldn’t answer these questions myself, I decided to ask them to my fellow Nigerians:

  1. If it takes 12years for the CCB to investigate one governor, how many years will it take them to investigate all the governors? (Further Maths Question; make CCB the subject of the formula)
  1. I thought that paragraph 15, Section 2, of the 1999 Constitution only permits a Judicial Officer to act as the Chairman of the Code of Conduct Bureau , and the said chairman is expected to take a Judicial oath and not the mere oath taken by Danladi Umar and other members of the CCB? In other words, by virtue of this, can I categorically say that Hon. Umar has fraudulently ascribed to himself the position of a ‘’justice?’’ (Woollup, woollup and woollup with that?)
  1. With what I have heard about the self-acclaimed justice Danladi Umar having a standing trial with the EFCC and also being a chronic bribe taker, is it possible that Self-proclaimed Justice Umar is being overzealous because Senator Bukola Saraki may have refused to offer him a bribe? Hehehehehe relax, we are getting there.
  1. If the Executive can attack the head of the Legislative branch for simply being a ‘non-conformist’ isn’t it a clear indication that President Buhari does not really understand the democratic doctrine of ‘balance of powers?’
  1. Why is it that Tinubu is fighting so hard to get his candidate sitting on the seat of the Senate President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria? Isn’t it also clear that he has a predetermined agenda to turn us all into beautiful and handsome Nigerian puppets?
  1. We have seen that Tinubu has attacked Babatunde Fashola using his news outlets like The Nation, The Punch and Premium Times, however, he seems to have a hard-on when it comes to Saraki. Attacking him not once; not twice; but almost every day since he assumed office on the 9th of June. Abeg, make una help me ask Tinubu and his editors oh: “Na only Saraki waka come?”
  1. Like number 5, has anybody noticed that Uncle Tinubu has been a Big Bully of late? Why is it that when things do not go his way, he uses the media and the army of ‘beholden to Bourdillon officials’ at his disposal to fight his battle?
  1. Mind you, Saraki’s Senate is investigating EFCC for stealing recovered funds; EFCC is investigating the Chairman of the CCB, Danladi Umar, for corrupt practices, official impropriety and victimization of junior staff under his watch. Could it be that the EFCC is using the CCB to cut a deal with Danladi Umar?
  1. It is also obvious that the CCT did not grow up in Yoruba land, because they lack respect, or does Section 6 of the Constitution not state that The High Court is a superior court, while the CCT is an inferior court since it is amenable to the judicial review of a superior court because a statute/law creates it?
  1. In Article 24, section 2, of the Code of Conduct Bureau and Tribunal Act, we clearly see that Prosecutions for all offences referred to in this Act shall be instituted in the name of the Federal Republic of Nigeria by the Attorney-General of the Federation or such officers in the Federal Ministry of Justice as the Attorney-General of the Federation may authorize so to do.” Given that Nigeria’s last Attorney General left office in May, when the cabinet of former President Goodluck Jonathan was dissolved, it is important for us to ask; on whose authority has the 13 count charge been instituted on? Who is the oga at the top?
  1. Why does the CCB have to drain its arsenal on just one man? Is Bukola Saraki the only two-time former governor to declare for an elective position? Or is he the only remaining threat to the puppet masters?
  1. How come the allegations are based on the declaration that happened in 2003, not on those that were filled in 2007, or 2011, or even 2015?
  1. Since Buhari announced that he’ll be making public his ministerial list, the list said to cut across all the defecting parties (ACN, AD, ANPP, CPC & PDP) could it be that these puppet masters and award winning gladiators are afraid their candidates will be subjected to rigorous Senate screenings? Since Saraki has pledged to ensure checks and balances and discourage ‘’bow and go’’ confirmation?
  1. Buhari himself has said before that Senator Bukola Saraki’s emergence, as the Chairman of the 8th Assembly was constitutional. Now, why will he watch some cabal in his government use unconstitutional means to remove him?
  1. I also recall that when Tinubu was slammed with a 3-count charge by the same CCT, his party the ACN issued a public press statement insisting that the actions of the CCB were overzealous.  Now I ask where is the backing of the APC in Saraki’s case? Why is he standing alone? Isn’t the trial basically the same as Tinubu’s 2011 experience, or is Tinubu simply above the law? In addition to this, Tinubu specifically requested that his trial be moved to Lagos. With the turn of events, can Saraki equally ask that his case be moved to Kwara? Shay what is good for the goose is also good for the gander? Don’t worry; we will consult the gods on this one.
  1. Now, it’s the CCT that is being used. Who will they use next?  Fellow Nigerians: are we all going to seat back, fold our hands and let all these puppet masters use us all one by one?  I’ll leave you to answer that.

But meanwhile, I hope these few questions of mine, will let you all understand that the mathematics of Saraki’s case does not add up. If it does, abeg, help me and do the math so that I will not fail the next time they ask me a question like: “How many Tinubu’s and Buhari’s does it take to witch hunt 1 Saraki?”

Your guess is as good as mine.

Oluwaseyi David Tosin writes from Port Harcourt.

The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author.

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