Every man needs a good woman by his side. When the matching is perfect, it can lead to a life filled with love, joy and success. Just ask Gospel Music Innovator Kirk Franklin who, on January 20th, celebrated 19 years of marriage to his wife, Tammy.
In a “confession” he posted on a blog, Kirk says that without his wife – to whom he proposed when he was just 18 – everything he is today would not have come to fruition, “…nineteen years ago, I asked the girl that blew my mind the first time I saw her at a swim party when I was eighteen to marry me. Now, I had no idea of the huge weight of seriousness in that request; no one does at the time, but I can tell you, the man, the music, and my ministry would be dead on arrival if I would have never asked the girl of my dreams to marry me,” he writes. “It takes a lot for a man to fall in love; it takes even more for him to STAY in love.”
Quoting Dr. Tony Evans, whom he calls his mentor, Franklin says, “The reason why God commands us ’till death do us part’ is because it takes that long to get to know someone!”
Franklin talks about how he and Tammy came from different backgrounds; hers one that was filled with love and stability in her family and his where “the only blueprint I had was Cliff and Claire Huxtable on NBC” and he memories of married men in restaurants who always looked bored, “like they wanted to cut their wrist.”
And yet, his leap of faith into marriage managed to not only survive, but flourish, for 19 years.
“I love being married to her. And the fear of a lifeless boring life with no fun and youthful fire was a life that had to be created by the both of us. See, men don’t want to adjust, to bend, to die. That’s the word; die. Not in some dreadful dark cloud type of way, but to take the focus off of yourself and realize that you’re not the best YOU that you can be until you find that soul mate that ignites that better you.
“Tammy was patient with me. Her family background was better than mine. She had a mom and dad in the house. She saw love modeled. I didn’t. She didn’t give up on me. She knew I was crazy, and she was my medication. She calmed me. She made the noise quiet. And she didn’t beat me up for what I wasn’t.”