According to counsellors and psychologists, reasons could vary from infidelity, to growing out of love, to finding someone better.
1. Career first
Kamini Indrakumar, a relationship counsellor, agrees that on an average, the duration of a relationship in modern times has come down. “Modern society has had an impact on relationships. Couples want to date for a longer time, and marriage is not even on their minds,” she says.
Dating doesn’t necessarily need to lead to a marriage as priorities have changed. According to Malavika, a 26-year old working professional, “Today, couples want to date and marriage comes much later.” They are too busy chasing dreams and making a career. “I am going to be 27 in a month and haven’t even thought of marriage yet,” she adds. Malavika was in a three-year relationship and broke up when an opportunity to work abroad presented itself.
2. Social media
Kamini Indrakumar opines, “Apart from career, social media can also be a contributing factor to the increasing number of break-ups. Nothing is personal now and mostly couples grow apart because they either tweet or update their statuses too frequently.” She claims that this leads to lack of communication. “The range of relationship status options is a telling sign too. You don’t have just a ‘single’ or ‘in a relationship’ status alone. There are others such as ‘it’s complicated’,” she says.
3. Find someone better
Kavitha* broke up with her boyfriend for three-and-a-half years because she says she found someone else with whom she felt she could be happier.
“I am not proud of what I did, but what’s the point of being with someone else when you know he is not right for you and you are not right for him?” she asks.
Kamini explains, “Today, people don’t sacrifice their happiness just because they are dating. The definition of love in modern society has changed a lot. If they find a better man or a woman, and feel they as well as their partner will be happier apart, then they move on.” She stresses that more than breaking someone’s heart; they see it as saving the other person from misery.
4. Growing out of love
Varsha K, a psychologist, opines, “Age makes us all rethink our decisions. A couple who fall in love in school or college learn about the world as they grow old and so many times realize that they are different people three to four years down the line.” You might care about the person you’re with, but might not be in love with them anymore, and this is an increasing trend noticed by many relationship counselors.
Couples these days cannot stand infidelity and refuse to put up with it. “No amount of love or duration of a relationship can help if one of the partners has been unfaithful,” says Padma Narayan, an architecture student. It’s about cheating, breaking trust, and it’s something that you can’t win back.