Ah, the penis. In Zulu it’s the umthondo, in Welsh the pidyn, in Indonesian the buah zakar, in Filipino the titi.
Whatever language you chose, there’s no denying the penis is quite a feat of engineering.
Here’s some facts you probably didn’t know about your common or garden trouser snake.
1. Short shrift
If unused the penis can shrink as much as 2cm.
2. Sod the diet
Men produce between a quarter to a full teaspoon of semen each time they cum.
A teaspoon of said jizz contains seven calories.
The biggest human penis ever recorded is more than 34cm (13.5 inches) long.
4. Yes, but does it cum back again
During missionary sex, the penis is shaped like a boomerang.
5. The best reason to quit, ever
Smoking can shorten your penis by up to 1cm as lighting up calcifies blood vessels involved in erectile circulation.
6. Don’t blame me if you do your back in
One men in 400 are flexible enough to give themselves head.
7. Give me a minute
According to a Men’s Health survey, 79 per cent of men have growers, 21 per cent have showers.
8. Bringing sexy back
Ejaculation is triggered by the spinal cord, not the brain.
9. Sorry, boys
The average male orgasm lasts six seconds. The average female orgasm lasts 23.
10. Well that’s one theory out the window
Studies have proven shoe size has nothing to do with penis size.