14 Complicated Secrets Only Bisexuals Know

14 Complicated Secrets Only Bisexuals Know

By Metro UK on May 18, 2015

With Cate Blancett telling Variety magazine that she’s had ‘many relationships with women’ recently, the subject of bisexuality is back in the headlines.

Being bisexual can be tough – while many would consider it to be double the fun, with double the choices, certain tricky situations that can arise.

Here’s the 14 most complicated things about being bisexual.

1. ‘It’s a phase’

And you’re doing it because it’s ‘fashionable’, with Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie, Amber Heard and Lady Gaga being just some of the celebrity women who are openly bisexual.

A little credit please.

2. People think you’re greedy

…and just want to eat all the pies.

3. Non-committal

Or can’t decide what you want to eat.

4. Pretentious

‘I don’t recognise sexuality or gender, I just fall in love with a person.’

Is kind of the essence of it but, man, try to say that without sounding like someone who wears a monocle and goes to Oscar Wilde recitals every weekend.

5. Or horny *all* the time

Men, women, trees, lampposts … bisexual people are often presumed as being more sexually promiscuous aka up for shagging anything that moves.

While admittedly there are double the options that doesn’t mean you spend double the amount of time in the bedroom (a girl can dream).

6. And when it comes to getting double the dates…

Plenty of gay women won’t date bisexual women because they’re not convinced by their sincerity, meaning that not only do you get less dates but you’re stereotyped as not the real McCoy too.

7. You just aren’t brave enough to come out

Come on, you’ve got to be one or the other!

Erm, nope. You don’t.

8. Everyone wants to know about your sex life

Be it curiosity or intrigue, people seem more relaxed asking somebody who is bisexual about every detail of their sex life than any other person.

Who’s on top? How about sex toys?

You usually hear these questions a whole 10 minutes after meeting them.

9. You obviously love threesomes (with anyone)

You have about as much chance of dating R-Patz as you do of a bisexual woman accepting a request for a threesome with you and your boyfriend.

Just because she’s bisexual it doesn’t mean she wants group sex.

(Unless it’s with R-Patz, natch.)

10.You’re only doing it to turn a guy on

Can I watch?

The response from 99.9% of all men when you tell them you’re bisexual.

11. And are only doing it to turn guys on

Holding hands with your girlfriend down the street, a quick snog in a bar?

Expect a round of applause *every* time.

12. But you’re not a ‘proper’ lesbian

People like to put sexuality in boxes, but when you’re neither one nor the other, or both, your box, or at least the one that people like to put you in, gets confusing.


13. You’ll eventually go straight in the end

Sigh … If I had a pound …

14. It’s exhausting

Being bisexual means you spend much of your life convincing people of your authenticity.

Dating’s never been such fun.

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