Life is all about ups and downs. We all go through our own emotional roller-coaster rides, but remember that you are the driver of this ride. So, if you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, it’s time to look inward and see where are you sourced at. Are you blaming the other a little more than you should be? Are you not seeing your own imperfections? Before your relationship hits the point of no return, here are signs to watch out for so that you can make amends.
Trying to change him.
There is no such thing as a perfect person! But if you still insist on perfection, then start with yourself. You have no right to complain about others when your own house is not in order.
Finding faults with your in-laws
A guy comes with a package deal and that includes his family. If you can’t take him pointing fingers at your parents then how do you expect him to gulp down the insults you heap on his family? Be compassionate and be more inclusive.
Needing his constant attention
Maybe in a party you would expect him to stick to your side, hold hands and constantly call you honey and baby. Stop! learn to love yourself and let him be free. Don’t make the other person pay for your insecurities.
Making a scene
Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public. The unnecessary interference and advice will further ruin what little chances that you might have of reconciliation!
Not speaking out
Communication is the key to any happy relationship. If there is something bothering you, please speak it out. And stop on the pretext that he should have known what I feel inside! No one is God to know everything that transpires within you.
Scared of differences
Having your say is important as every healthy relationship is between equals. Being scared to ticking him off, or feeling guilty about what you are feeling and stifling your voice will further erode your self-worth. And you don’t want that happening!
Forgetting to forgive
Taking your grudges to your grave will leave you a miserable loner. We all make mistakes. So, forgiving and forgetting will only make you feel lighter.
Making a mountain of a molehill
You can make a big issue out of small things or snip things at the bud before they become big. The choice is yours. If a mate forgets to take out the garbage, there’s no need for a scene. Take a few breaths and address the problem calmly.
Learn to gauge the other person’s mood when he walks through the door after a day in office. If he looks stressed, don’t heap your list of complaints on him. Rather wait till he is calmer. Then you are more assured to get your way.
Sure, relationships should be about give and take, but don’t keep track of every little detail. Like I collected the kids from school the last three times and you only once! You are a team, and it’s never about you and me. But us!
Lack of trust and spying
When two people want to make it work, trust is key. Have confidence in your mate and respect their privacy: Don’t snoop through texts, emails, or bedroom drawers. It can even test the patience of the most faithful spouse!
Some advice for reducing envy, at least temporarily? Stay away from crime shows where men are painted as darker than the devil. But if you are addicted to such shows or literature, stop making comparisons. It will only put more seeds of unnecessary doubt in your head!
Not keeping the spark alive
When was the last time you dressed up for him or laid out a romantic dinner table? In the humdrum of mundane life, keep the spark alive by indulging each other in things or activities that can keep the spark alive.
Forget the ex and stop comparing a current partner with a person from the past. This could lead to unrealistic expectations and driving out any man who could have made you happy!
Doing everything together
Everyone needs some space and alone time. Yes, even hopelessly devoted couples. Solitude actually enhances relationships, making time together more valuable and precious.
Not being honest with yourself
Don’t just be honest with a companion. Stay real about what you need in order to stay satisfied. Is a long distance relationship really worth the work? Is it okay that your spouse is a workaholic and has no time for you? Do your future visions align or not?
Little white lies, excuses and justifications can add up and ruin a relationship that should be built on honesty. There are more chances of getting caught or feeling guilty when you do that can strain your bond.
Low sex-drive, not being able to please your partner in the bedroom, or not having a say can further drive you in the corner in a relationship! Getting active, setting goals, and even smiling can improve self-confidence. But don’t forget that an unhealthy relationship can actually cause low-self esteem, so steer clear of someone who makes you feel less than great.
Forgetting why you’re in it
Remember to keep a reality check and don’t forget to ask yourself once in a while why you two are dating, and what you want out of it? Does a partner want to put a ring on it while you want to remain casual? Being with someone for the wrong reasons is one slippery slope!
Taking him for granted
Always remember why you love that special someone. And never stop making him feel special for loving and being there for you. That in turn will make him want to be a better man just for you.