When sex becomes boring and routine, many women start to think of different ways their partner isn’t measuring up, but the blame can’t always lie with the man.
As it turns out, women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own.
Here are a few of them:
Not initiating sex with your partner
Many women worry about ladylike behavior. They don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive. According to Les Parrot, professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of ‘Crazy Good Sex’, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make.
“Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship,” he says.
Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do.
Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction.
Worrying about what you look like
Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.
Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face. Concentrate on the pleasure of the act. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.
Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns.
More often than not, men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway. They are more interested in if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.
Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him,” Fisher advises.
Assuming sex is casual for a man
It’s important to let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. For some men, sex is a very important act.
Both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying.
Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples. That says a lot about the inadequacies of casual sex.
Believing he’s always up for sex
Most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but the same can’t be said for men. The pressures of everyday life — family, work, bills — can zap a man’s libido.
This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something they tend to take personally.
However, it is pertinent to understand that just like women, men are not always ready to have sex.
Not giving him guidance
Talking directly about sex, what you like and don’t like can make women feel uncomfortable, even with a partner they’ve been with for a long time, however, it is the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship.
A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter. No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience.
Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know. Endeavour to tell him in a way that doesn’t kill his ego and you will both be happier for it.
This article was first published on WebMD.