I was having a conversation with a friend recently that truly disturbed me. He passionately explained to me why it was important for him to show favoritism towards his mother because of his father’s adulterous past. When I asked him if his father’s actions directly impacted him, he explained that his father’s adulterous past did affect him directly because he’d seen (and heard) how it made his mother feel.
I was instantly annoyed by his mother’s decision to share the details of she and her husband’s relationship with their son because I find that many mothers guilt-trip their kids into choosing sides when they’re not feeling secure in their relationship with their husbands. Instead of allowing their children to form their own perception of their father based upon how he is as a father and leader of the household, these women force their children to view their father as a lover/companion. Ladies, you’re doing your child a disservice when you bring them into you and your husband’s relationship. Your child does not need to know what their parents (yes, that includes you too) are doing with their genitαls.
Simply put: A bad husband does not equate to a bad parent. There are men (and women) who are outstanding parents but lackluster/awful spouses. Please stop equating the two. You’re causing more damage than preventing it.