Sex Lessons: 5 Proven Ways To Succeed At Seduction

Sex Lessons: 5 Proven Ways To Succeed At Seduction

By eHarmony on November 16, 2015
couple love relationship

You’ve scored some quality time with your significant other Saturday night, and it’s just the two of you. So, how do you seduce him? Believe it or not, the goal of seduction is not sex and has very little to do with physical intimacy, but everything to do with turning on your love’s heart and mind. The following are five surefire tips for successfully seducing your guy.

Be Attractive
The art of seduction is largely visual. So your first order of business, when trying to seduce your sweetie, is to look the part. And no, that doesn’t mean shakily stepping into four inch stilettos, donning a tight sweater, and/or dousing yourself in a gallon of eau de toilette. Instead, you should accentuate whenever it is about Y-O-U that makes you feel fabulous – from your engaging eyes to your winning smile to your sexy calves. Before beginning your seduction, spend an extra few minutes on your hair, makeup, and/or wardrobe. By looking and feeling your best, you’ll feel more confident and comfortable. 

Be Romantic
In addition to being a visual art form, seduction is also a cerebral experience, and it’s up to you to set the perfect seduction scene. If your love is coming over to your house for dinner, set the mood with romantic music, scented candles, and a delicious meal with plenty of spicy aromas. Champagne and/or wine can add to a seductive evening. However, don’t rely on alcohol or other stimulants. It may make your mate feel uncomfortable, and/or put doubt in their mind about your true intentions. When in doubt, focus on setting a comfortable scene with romantic accents (flowers on the dining room table = the perfect touch).

Be Attentive
Part of the cerebral seduction experience lies in showering your sweetie with attention without being overbearing. A few days before your date, send your partner a friendly text message, letting them know how much you’re looking forward to seeing them. Call to confirm your plans the day before and be sure to add that you’re excited about spending time with them. When you meet, compliment your guy — on his hair, outfit, the way they smell — whatever stands out to you. Throughout your date, ask inquisitive questions, listen intently, share a few laughs, and give them your full attention. By being in the moment with your cutie (and having fun, too), you let them know how much you enjoy their company.

Be Original
In the art of seduction, there’s a fine line between being smarmy and predictable (and ultimately turning your date off) and achieving true seduction success (by turning on your date’s heart and mind). The key to your success lies in taking cues from what has worked for others, and putting your own personal flair into play. For example, romantic music, candlelight, and flowers are predictable seduction accoutrements. However, when used appropriately and with individualized attention, they can make the object of your desire feel appreciated, respected, and downright sexy.

So how do you achieve originality in your seduction techniques? By paying attention to what rocks your love’s world. If they’re allergic to flowers, nix the bouquet of roses and instead present them with the dark chocolate they confess to craving. Or, if they’re a cooking whiz, invite them to share kitchen duties by cooking dinner together. Or, if you planned an elaborate romantic evening and then your date shows up looking exhausted, switch gears and opt for a relaxing evening on the couch, complete with their fave takeout food, followed by a foot massage. By treating your mate like the individual that they are, and showing that you’ve paid attention to their likes and dislikes, you’ll score serious seduction bonus points.

Be Yourself
Ultimately, the key to a successful seduction lies in being yourself. While there are plenty of proven tips and techniques for wining, dining, and wooing someone, your efforts will fall short if you’re not being authentic. Your best bet is to simply be the best version of yourself possible, even if that means being occasionally shy, clumsy, and/or unprepared. In fact, your partner may find you all the more attractive and endearing for these authentic and unplanned moments.

So there you have it — five surefire tips for succeeding at seduction. When in doubt, remember this — seducing someone has little to do with scoring physical contact and everything to do with turning on your love’s heart and mind. If you succeed on a cerebral and emotional level, everything else will follow in time. Good luck and happy dating!

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