Has sex ever landed you in hospital? Well if it doesn’t involve an electric saw it won’t even come close to ranking in our top 10…
TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER reaches its season finale with some eye-watering misadventures that’ll leave you sitting cross-legged.
There’s the man whose head feels like it’s splitting open when he has an orgasm (and will have that for the rest of his life, poor man).
There’s the couple who decide to do a little role play as cops and robbers and end up in the ER when the woman suffers a very unusual pain.
And there’s the man who, in his haste to have sex, grabbed the wrong tube and then discovered his hand had welded itself to his manhood with the help of super-glue.
Major ouchies.
But they’re not alone. Sex seems to go wrong for some unlucky souls every day – even celebs are not immune *cough* Rochelle and Marvin Humes*cough*
If you are unlucky enough to have had a mishap, we still bet it’s not as wince-inducing and cringe-inducing as this lot:
10. A woman in China was left deaf for two months from kissing. The act of sucking face ‘reduced the pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear’ reported China Daily.
9. More embarrassing than painful, a Couple got stuck together having sex in the sea when the suction caused a vacuum and the guy couldn’t, er, leave.
8. Hearing Watermelon is an aphrodisiac, a man applied the juice to his penis. It was a bit too late by the time he’d realised his girlfriend was badly allergic.
7. A woman in Seattle was hospitalised after suffering from a three hour orgasm. At least she had one.
6. Wanting to surprise her husband, a woman turned up at his work with a box of sex toys for a naughty birthday treat. One gag and a locked jaw causing choking later and his colleagues knew exactly what they had been getting up to in the staff room.
5. A man was admitted to hospital complaining of rectal pain. Turns out that yes it does hurt when you pour liquid cement into your body and it solidifies.
4. Wanting to be a little more adventurous, a man indulged in a little outdoor sex with his wife. The result was having to go to the ER to have a lizard removed from where it had crawled up his man-bits.
3. Lesson one in solo sex- never make your own sex toys. It rarely ends well, as one man found out when he decided to stick a light bulb somewhere and the damn thing smashed. He only just escaped with his life.
2. Men with slightly small appendages – just be grateful for what you’ve got. One Malaysian man decided his wasn’t big enough and thought something should be done. So he stuck it in a welding nut and tried to stretch it. Sadly, that fool proof plan didn’t work out and he got stuck, forcing doctors to remove the top layer of penis skin to free it.
1. A couple in America decided to ramp up their vibrator by attaching it to a power tool. An electric saw. Yep, it turned out to be a bad idea – the woman had her bits cut open and had to be rushed to the ER. Thankfully she recovered, and has likely never tried that again.
