There is nothing I would rather do at the end of a long, hard day than slip into my bed and close my eyes…
But unfortunately, my children do not feel the same way.
They will do anything to stay awake a bit longer, while I will do anything to get them to go the hell to sleep.
Here are just a few of the annoying things that will happen at bedtime.
1. Children will always want the same long, boring book. Every. Single. Night.
2. They will also ask the same questions about the same story every single night. ‘Why is Mrs Large wearing a hat in the bath’, and ‘Where is Fox’s sock?’ Same book. Every night. (Picture: Getty)
3. They will always want the one cuddly toy that you can’t find.
4. The evening you plan to have a nice glass of wine – will be the evening they take twice as long to go to sleep.
5. The night you finally manage to get a babysitter – your kids will be ill or teething.
6. They will try anything to stop you leaving their room. The moment you go to shut the door they will be struck with a desperate thirst, hunger or need for a wee.
7. Cuteness is a toddler’s best Defence Against Bedtime. Just as you are about to lose your rag they tell you; ‘Mummy, you are my best friend. Can you stay a bit longer?’ Or ‘Daddy, I love you so much – will you lie down with me?’The cuteness tactic (Picture: Getty)
8. You can’t get your child to touch water during the day but at bedtime – they ‘really need a drink of water’ every five minutes.
9. Then you get them the water and it will be in the wrong cup.
10. When you get them water in a cup they deem to be satisfactory they will take an hour to drink it.
11. You will unashamedly lie to your children at bedtime. ‘It is 10pm’(when it is 8pm) or ‘there is no more milk’ when there are four pints in the fridge and ‘even daddy is fast asleep,’ when he is in the living room watching TV.
12. Your children will unashamedly lie to you at bedtime; ‘My eyes are too openy and won’t close,’ or ‘I have a tummy ache’.
13. However, the one night you don’t fall for the ‘I can’t sleep because I have a tummy ache’ excuse, is the night they throw up all over the bed and make you feel like the worst parent ever.
14. The more tired they get the harder it is to get them to sleep.
15. They like to make bedtime last for as long as possible when you are ill, or exhausted.
16. Bedtime is the only time of the day bribery does not work. ‘If you PLEASE go to sleep right now you can have an ice cream for breakfast.’ ‘Biscuits?’ ‘Sweets?’
17. They ask for some hot milk, you get them the hot milk but they do not drink it. Ten minutes later they decide they want the hot milk but complain it is now cold.
18. Do not even think about having an early night. The kids will somehow know and take even longer to go to bed.