Your relationship has entered its fourth year and the two of you have planned a romantic dinner to mark the occasion.
Everything was sailing smooth until you saw her come down the stairs in a dress way too skimpy for her, sporting an obnoxious hairdo and makeup like it’s war paint. She flutters her eyelashes in hope of a compliment or two from you, and you comply awkwardly with a cliche like, “You look great, sweetheart”.
Here are 9 such things (in random order) that men are all the time dying to say, but can’t seem to get it out of their system.
1. How many digits in your salary: “What’s your salary package,” a question that every guy dreads and wishes to evade more than a question like “Are you gay?” They will inform you about a salary increment or a promotion at work but will never divulge the statistical details even if it is good. Dipti Sahu, a media professional, says, “Guys are competitive even with their partners and are wary to disclose details they feel will make us judge them. That’s why they can never give definite answers and are always vague about their salary structure.”
2. Why can’t I earn more than you: We might have progressed into an era where we witness men and women succeeding in the professional sphere but regressive notions continue to exist. Dilasha Seth, a Business journalist, believes that somewhere the traditional notion of a man being the breadwinner and woman as the caretaker of the household still holds true. “They will not acknowledge a woman’s success in public for the acceptance will injure their pride. On the face of it they might congratulate you but within, they battle with their own insecurity. A woman on the other hand basks in her man’s success and can’t help shout out from rooftops.”
3. Just get over Mills and Boon: Women’s choice of books and their blind devotion to certain authors have always irked men. Their helpless state further worsened by their inability to express it. Says Sayyed Naqvi, media professional, “It’s not that we want our partners to be connoisseurs in literature or descendants of Shakespeare but I can never tell her to develop a sensible taste in her selection of books. She might take it otherwise”
4. Fantasising about another girl while in the act: Have you ever felt a vein of disconnect running through that intimate moment where you are in his arms and about to break into a romantic kiss? Rosy Xess, a freelance writer, feels that “guys cannot verbalise that their mental faculties are fixated on some other girl while being physically cosy with you.”
5. Watch out dude, that’s my girl!: Walking down a busy street, a man is always watchful of people that eye his girl, far less stray close to her. He is always prepared to shield her from sneering comments. The problem arises in articulating it. Says Saurav Mishra, a Bombay-based professional in business media “I feel my blood boil when someone passes an objectionable comment on my girlfriend. I hold myself from communicating it for I am afraid she might think I am trying to be a police every time.”
6. Don’t call me every five minutes: There are times when an overdose of ‘love’, ‘care’ and ‘affection’ intrudes his personal space making him claustrophobic. *Nihal Singh, an engineering student says, “It becomes tough for me when she expects a prompt reply to her every text and gets angry if I delay. I cannot tell her how much this bothers me as doing so would mean inviting more trouble.”
7. Please let’s not talk about my ex: This is indeed a sensitive chapter in one’s life, the pages of which threaten to open up massacring details. Past is always sad and men are never really comfortable letting their partners take a peep for the fear of offending them.
8. I always know what to do: Guys, let’s face it, are averse to confessing. The idea of opening up about a problem, whether a crisis in the family or a bad day at work, to their partners sends a tingle of unease down his back. Dipti Sahu, a media professional who is living in with her boyfriend for the last few years, feels that guys think they would be dubbed a loser if they sought their partner’s help with anything. They see it as a challenge to their ‘masculinity’.
9. Calling friends over without prior notice: Guys don’t think twice before calling up their gang of friends over for a meal. The wife/girlfriend in question is notified on the same only at the penultimate moment when it gets too much to handle for him. Men don’t realise that casually asking friends to drop by can make women go through a harrowing time deciding what to serve. And it obviously drives her barking mad!