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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Ladies, Let 1970 Cosmo Tell You ‘Things To Do With Your Hands That Men Like’

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In January 1970, the feminist movement had already begun to drum up support for an Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. No-fault divorce laws were beginning to sweep across the states. U.S. Senate hearings parading male doctor after male doctor across the dais to explain risks of “the Pill” — and infuriate women in the audience — sparked government regulations to ensure informed consent. And Cosmopolitan magazine published a listicle on using our dainty lady digits in stupidly bizarre sultry and sexy ways.

Behold, “Things To Do With Your Hands That Men Like.” Published in the magazine’s January 1970 issue, this is undoubtedly one of the greatest (and most hilarious) gifts the publication has bestowed upon the fairer sex. Wanna bring all the boys to the yard? Apparently all you need to do is offer them free egg shampoos as you brush their faces with your face-blusher brush and, afterward, make a manwich out of them with two pillows. Or any combination of these other things on Cosmo’s list:

things to do with your hands 2
BRB, we’ll just be awaiting nightfall so we can crawl through our man’s window and plant a perfumed scarf under his pillow so he dreams nicely-scented dreams of our life together — until he wakes up and “direct-dials” the police.

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