14 Things That Happen In Your First Year Of Marriage

14 Things That Happen In Your First Year Of Marriage

By Metro UK on April 23, 2016
partner breadwinner couple love kiss pregnant wedding

Your wedding day can be the biggest and best day of your life, but after all the sleepless nights over monumental decisions about sponge cake or fruit cake and whether to use Times New Roman or Calibri on the invites, you just want to start your new lives as Mr & Mrs.

Here’s what really happens to brides and grooms once the ink has dried on the licence.

1. Everyone asks when they can expect the pitter-patter…

Before the last crumbs of wedding cake have been eaten, you’ll be fending off questions about when you’re going to start a family. Cue embarrassed looks all around and no actual answers.

2. You try to get your wedding ring into every photo

For the next twelve months you stage photos where your ring finger makes its dazzling way into every shot.

3. You drop “my husband/my wife” into sentences unnecessarily

It’s smug and should not be encouraged.

4. You suffer the come-down

After months spending every waking moment researching napkin colours, stationary fonts and cake toppers, the end of the big day leaves a black hole where you no longer know how you’ll ever manage to fill eight hours in the office.

5. You join wedding forums to dispense your wisdom

You’re suddenly an expert and take a perverse pleasure in being the internet know-it-all, joining Facebook groups to pass on your knowledge and boring your single friends with patronising stories about it being their turn next.

6. You make an effort to be grown-up

Suddenly, you feel like a proper adult – you’re throwing dinner parties for your other married friends, buying more expensive wine and finally leaving tips in restaurants.

7. You suddenly think it’s fun to do life admin

There’s a surge of enthusiasm for playing house – opening joint accounts, buying life assurance and setting budgets.

8. You try really hard to be more tolerant

You’re on your absolute best behaviour, for at least six weeks – offering to run baths, make dinner, buying surprise gifts and letting them watch whatever they want on TV without moaning.

9. You keep forgetting your new name

If you’ve changed your name it will take at least half the year to remember when someone asks you – even though you filled six jotters practising your signature.

10. You come to terms with the fact nothing seems to have changed

You thought the world would feel different but it doesn’t. A week later and absolutely everything is the same – it’s a shade disappointing but you don’t let on.

11. You get addicted to looking back at photos and videos of the day

The photographs take two months to arrive and then you can’t take your eyes off them for a year, re-living the best day of your life like it was yesterday.

12. People tell you ‘it’s all downhill from here’

The marriage veterans love nothing more than dropping jokes about ‘life sentences’ and ‘letting yourselves go’.

13. You judge every subsequent wedding against your own

It’s impossible to walk into another wedding without comparing the venue, the dress, the cake and the food to your own. It could be a Royal wedding and you’d still think yours was better.

14. You find out that the honeymoon phase expires quicker than your boarding pass

Give it a month and you’re back to grumbling about hairs in the bath, who forgot to put the bin out and why the chicken is still frozen when you get home for tea.

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