Pregnancy can be a confusing or worrying time for women. Being able to discuss feelings and symptoms with friends, family and doctors is important and most will want to talk a lot about what’s happening to them.
However, everyone seems to have an opinion on pregnancy. If you’re sporting a large belly it’s hard to conceal your condition and sometimes you end up a target for odd suggestions, strange comments and ridiculous questions.
It’s a tender time, the expectant mother already has a lot to think about so maybe take a moment before you open your mouth. Here are 24 things that you might not want to say to a pregnant woman:
1. Wow! How did that happen?
Sit down. There are some things you need to know.
2. You’re having a baby!
What? OMG I’m pregnant. Thanks for letting me know, I’m as shocked as you are.
3. Was it planned?
Bit late now if it wasn’t.
4. Are you ready?
I really hope so because there’s probably no going back now.
5. It’s about time.
Hey, whatever time is the right time.
6. Aren’t you scared?
By the fact I have to push a small person out of my nether regions or endure an operation? Well I wasn’t but I am now you’ve reminded me thanks.
7. That’s going to hurt.
Yep, already know that. Thanks again.
8. I know how you feel.
Unless you have a small person lying on your bladder and keeping you awake at night by kicking your kidneys then I’d say no you probably don’t.
9. Look at your boobs!
I know right! I can’t help but look at them, they’re everywhere I look.
10. You already look exhausted.
You try sleeping when you’re this size and you’re finding just lying down and breathing hard.
11. Have you had problems with discharge? Hemorrhoids? Sore boobs? Incontinence?
Look, it’s bad enough that we both know I’ve had sex, let’s not discuss every weird symptom I’m experiencing.
12. Are you allowed to eat that?
Let’s assume I am if it’s already in my mouth.
13. Are you allowed to do that?
If it’s illegal call the police, if it’s not then thanks for your concern but I’m going to make an informed decision based on my life experience and the health of my child.
14. Shouldn’t you be indoors?
We’ve moved on since pregnant women had to stay inside with the curtains closed. Still trying to live my life here people.
15. But you’re still tiny aren’t you?
All the easier when it comes to showtime then. But thanks for trying to worry me.
16. You’re massive.
Strange, because I feel as light as a feather.
17. You’re definitely eating for two.
Make one comment about how much I am consuming and I will eat you. And your family and pets. And any food you have left too because I am actually starving here.
18. How are you planning on losing the weight again after?
I’ve drawn up a full timetable of work outs and a new diet that I plan to put into action the second baby hits the air. Let the little sucker survive on his own while I sort this flabby tum out.
19. Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?
A puppy actually.
20. Can I touch you?
Not unless I know you really well. If I don’t then stop being creepy.
21. I hope you’re planning on a natural birth/breastfeeding/something else I believe in?
I hope you’re planning on moving on. Different strokes for different folks.
22. Do you want any more?
Might make a decision on that after we see how we get on with this one.
23. Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom.
We all know it’s going to be hard and tiring but I am not going to prison.
24. Any news?
Wait, did I forget to tell you? Came out weeks ago! This is just a football up my jumper.