Dryness? Leg cramps? Sex has its fair share of cringe-worthy moments.
Sex is probably one of the best things about being alive. Well, sex and pizza; actually most food in general. But with all the great things that come with sex, there’s a whole boatload of stuff that can make us cringe, too.
If you’re scratching your head and wondering, “Whatever could she be talking about?”, then you can put your hand back in your pocket, because I’m going to fill in the blanks for you. Get ready for you “Aha!” moment.
1. Morning Breath
Morning sex is so awesome! But morning breath, even the most bearable of morning breath is still not nice. Brushing your teeth beforehand is nice, though!
2. The Wet Spot
You know exactly what I’m talking about. Exactly.
3. Leg Cramp
Well, it was just a matter of time before it was going to happen, because no one can keep their legs like that forever. Which leads us to…
4. Having To Pee
Maybe you should have gone before, but you got distracted by the chance to have sex right then and there, so now you’ve gotta go NOW.
5. The Weird Smell
Bodily fluids and sweat do make for one hell of an, um, interesting scent.
6. “I’m Coming! I’m Coming!”
Yeah, I get it, but you’ve been saying that for almost 25 minutes now. Just come already, and quit announcing it as if you want some sort of medal!
7. Farting
Yep, it happens to the best of us. It just does. If you indulge in anal sex, even more so.
8. Bloody Sheets
You thought your period was over? But it’s not, it wasn’t, and now you have that ugly brown streak that looks like anything but blood on your sheets.
9. The ‘O’ Face
Does anyone make a pretty face when they have an orgasm? This is a serious question.
10. Complaints From Your Roommate Or Neighbor
You’re having a hot and heavy time, then you either get a knock on the wall or a passive aggressive text from someone in the vicinity: “Can you keep it down please?” Mood. Killed.
11. 69
It’s great in theory, but when it comes down to it, it’s just an awkward position that makes not just breathing (if he’s on top) difficult, but the enjoyable factor nil, especially if there’s a huge height difference.
12. The “What is THAT?” Moment.
Seriously. What is THAT?
13. Flaccid Penis
It’s OK. It’s happens to every guy at least once in his life. I swear. I think. OK, I’ve never witnessed it, but that’s what they say in the movies, right? (I kid! It’s totally normal to not be at attention every time.)
14. Dryness
For women, this is our version of a penis that refuses to get erect. Our wetness usually determines how turned on we are, and when things are all dried up, not only can it give our partner insecurities, but it makes for VERY painful penetration. This is one of the nasty side effects of being drunk and/or hungover.
15. Period Underwear
Because of course you just happened to be wearing your granny panties that are usually reserved for when you have your period, but you haven’t done laundry, when you meet the man of your dreams and you know you’re going to get some. BECAUSE OF COURSE.
16. Dirty Talk
While there may be no time like the present, it’s not true for dirty talk. Sometimes it just fails miserably.
17. The Waiting Game
You know when you’ve already climaxed and now you have to wait for your partner to get there, too? It’s not that you don’t care. It’s just that you’re ready for a nap.
18. Flying Semen
Because sometimes, especially if you’ve opted for some sexy fun that isn’t intercourse, that stuff can end up anywhere: wall, eyes, dripping down the photo of you and your parents at college graduation — you name it.
19. “No, I Didn’t Come”
Well, then. This is pretty awkward. Totally normal, but awkward.
20. Failed Positions
You really should have known your balance wasn’t THAT good, and that it would result with you both on the floor, and one of you with a nosebleed.
21. Pubic Hair
Whether you love them or hate them, or have chosen to wax them all away, everyone seems to have a preference, and I think we can all agree that it’s just not necessarily pretty. Get one stuck in your throat and, well, expect it to be there for days.
22. Politics
It’s probably a good idea to know what side of the abortion debate the person you’re having sex with stands. If you’re a liberal and you’re in unknowingly in bed with a Republican, and for some reason all your sexin’ leads to a political chat, you’re going to feel awful if he’s not for women’s reproductive rights. You just had sex with the enemy. Now you can write a suspense thriller about it!
23. Your Number
We’ve already covered that my number and your number shouldn’t matter, so why bring it up in bed?
24. The Bra Struggle
Although it’s assumed that most men can undo a bra in less than 10 seconds by the time they’re out of college, that’s not always the case. Especially if that bra clips in the front — dudes just don’t get how that can be a possibility.
25. Sweat
Totally natural, but sometimes you just don’t want to be slippin’ and slidin’ on your partner. In addition to being unsexy, it can be downright dangerous!
26. Post-Sex Bathroom Rush
Whether it’s you rushing to pee right afterward (because your gyno told you to) or because he needs to dispose of the condom, the rush for the bathroom immediately takes the sexy out of sex in record time.
27. Falling Asleep
What? Am I the only person who’s accidentally done this? I don’t think so.
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