Before Facebook, there were Friendster and MySpace. Even though I had signed up for them all, I never really thought that social media would ever take off, and eventually pretty much rule the world. Turns out, I am not always right because look at us all now, Facebook has become a part of our every day lives, whether we would like to admit it or not.
That being said, even though Facebook makes it easy for us to communicate with friends near and far, share our life experiences and moments with friends, it also opens up the doors for some real a**holes on our news feed. These guys shove their bullsh*t directly to us when they just relentlessly do what they do on Facebook. So, to celebrate some of these annoying characters, here are a few kinds that I’m sure we all stumble across when we log on.
1. The Passive-Aggressive Keyboard Warrior
“Some people are just so annoying, I mean, how can you be so rude and not realize it?” If you think they are aiming this at the general public, you are very mistaken. Posting snide and catty remarks without naming any specific person, refer to recent events in sarcastic undertones or even tagging you in mean listicals are just some of the ways these passive-aggressive Facebookers work.
Describe them as a hashtag: #vaguebook
2. The Inappropriate Industry Shamer
You work in the same industry as these other people that you’re digitally bashing on Facebook, and what’s worse is you have them on your friends list. It’s just damn impolite and really shows that you cannot be professional at all.
Describe them as a hashtag: #unprofessionalprofessionals
3. The Couple That Shares A Facebook Account
How is this even a thing? You are two separate people that are sharing your lives together. Not one entity!
Describe them as a hashtag: #thiscoupleneedstobestopped
4. The Kanye West of Facebook
These kind of people are all about their big egos and showing off, especially all the expensive things they can afford. I get it, you can buy fancy things and you want the whole world to know, but stop making the rest of us feel bad for being poor.
Describe them as a hashtag: #lookatmespendallmyparentsmoney
5. The “Dear Diary” Person
This particular type of personality on Facebook doesn’t bother me as much as they do others, but still, they need to be acknowledged. Honey, stop seeking for attention, there are 14-year-old girls on Facebook who are less needy than you! Save all that emotionally driven status for your diary entries. The world doesn’t need to know how intensely you feel about everything.
Describe them as a hashtag: #leavetheemowritingtobabyface
6. The Inspirational Quote Abuser
These guys flood your news feed with at least five inspirational quotes a day and then to end it, they post a really depressing status. It really makes you wonder if they are reading the sh*t they are posting!
Describe them as a hashtag: #quotemenever
7. The Basic Meanies
Wherever you go in life, you will always encounter if not one, a few d**kheads. It’s pretty much the same in the digital world too. Some people are just mean on Facebook, whether it’s through their comments, memes or statuses. These are the kind of toxic fools you should just ignore if you can’t seem to unfriend them.
Describe them as a hashtag: #niceisboringmeanisfun
8. The Illuminati of Facebook
These group of people post cryptic status updates just to mess with you or get some attention. I often think it’s because they themselves do not know what on Earth they are spewing. Seriously, grow up! If you don’t want people to know, then refrain yourself from posting it online on Facebook. If you do, then be straight up.