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Saturday, March 2, 2024

10 Super Weird Things Couples Do

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Think you’re the only weird couple on the planet who does those weird things together? Think again.

Couples who have been together for a long time find themselves loosening up around one another. Their true selves come out, and they start letting their guard down. This means they start doing really weird things that would probably freak grandma out, if she happened to pop by for a “surprise visit”.

They lounge around without any pants on. They text each other despite being in the same room with one another. And they start acting like one another.

To anyone who has never been in a long-term relationship, these things might seem a little strange. And to grandma, they’ll seem downright scary.

But we love to celebrate couples and all their inherent weirdness, so let’s get super-freaky and take a look at 10 super weird things couples do.

1. Privacy Becomes A Foreign Concept

Who needs privacy when you’re dying to pee?

Now that you’ve been together for a few months, or even years, and have seen each other naked scores of times, it’s time to share the bathroom.

This means that whilst one of you is showering, the other is on the toilet.

And no amount of, “I’m in the shower here! Dude! Not cool!” is going to change things.

You don’t even care about locking the bathroom door anymore, though this is something that can get really weird, when a friend pops by and sees you sitting on the loo, because you forgot that normal people lock the door. Oops!

2. You Sing To Your Pets

When you first started dating, singing to his huge dog was something that was very far from your mind.

In fact, you were terrified of it and rather embarrassed about your own voice. Hey, you’re not Mariah Carey, right?

But now that you’re a full-on couple, you both just love to serenade your shared pets with a few tuneless tunes. Whether you’re belting out that song you wrote about it being your dogs’ dinner time or singing “Happy Birthday” to your cat, singing to your pets is just one of those totally normal but super weird things you do.

3. You Check Each Other For Weird Moles

“Honey, I think I’ve got a mole near my butt. Could you come check it out?”

“No problem.”

Checking out each others’ weird hairs and moles is just par for the course, when you’re in a long term relationship. Sure, it might seem weird to those normal folk who would rather call a doctor, but where’s the fun in calling a doctor? You’ve got a hairy bum to inspect!

4. You Try On Each Others’ Clothes

We’re pretty sure grandma has never tried granddad’s boxers on, but long-term couples these days have this super weird thing of trying on each others’ clothings.

Guys just love to run around the house wearing your bra, whilst you take great pleasure in trying on his oversized shirts, jeans and shoes. It’s just one of those things.

Until you take it outdoors to a restaurant. Then it gets really weird.

5. You Do Sexy Dances

Another one of weird things couples do is ‘sexy’ dances. The problem with this one is that the dances are very rarely sexy.

And they’re also very rarely even dances.

They’re more like spontaneous bodily movements or “spasms”. But, hey, couples think it’s sexy and that’s all that matters, right? Right! Go couples!

6. You Spy On The Neighbours

There is just something about having neighbours that rouses a couples’ curiosity.

Bachelors can take or leave their neighbours. They certainly don’t spend their evenings trying to sneak a peek to see what huge package their neighbour is having delivered now.

But couples just love to find out whether their neighbours have a better life than they do.

“Have they just got ANOTHER TV? What do they do for their money? Hank, I’m certain they’re master criminals. It is not fair that they should bigger TVs than us.”

This is super weird, but it can also border on obsession, when it gets to the point where you begin to suspect the guy has killed his wife.

7. You Use One Another’s Toothbrush

Another one of weird things couples do is to use one another’s toothbrush. Before you got into a long-term relationship, just the thought of using someone else’s toothbrush was gross. It freaked you out (as it should), and you were quite happy with your own toothbrush, thank you very much.

And if yours began to get too bristly, you simply bought a new one.

When you’re in a long-term relationship, however, you no longer have any qualms about using your partner’s toothbrush. You no longer even have any qualms about what you use it for.

8. You Text Each Other Despite Being In The Same House

And sometimes you’ll even text one another when you’re in the same room.

Worse still, you’ll both log into Facebook at the same time and have a chat on your walls.

Then you’ll tweet, post on Instagram and even email if you feel like it.

Weird, huh?

9. You Totally Gross Out

Before you got together, the very idea of burping in front of each other was just so cringe. It didn’t even cross your mind to do it. Instead, you kept it all in and waited until you were home alone.

After all, letting out wind in front of the person of our dreams is just wrong, right?

Now that you’ve been together a while, you no longer care. Well, it’s just natural! So what if they’re the man of your dreams! What, they can’t take a bit of burping?!

Worse still, you’ve grown so comfortable with one another that you no longer make any attempt to hold it in. You’ve even started giving ratings out of ten! Isn’t it one of the weirdest things couples do?

10. You Lick Each Other

When you first stated dating, you were scared to even touch one another.

But then you broke through the fear and touched.

Then you hugged.

And then you kissed.

Finally, you made love. Aww.

And now that you’re together as long-term relationship, you’ve even licked one another.

Yup, like a pair of dogs, couples just like to lick each other. There is no scientific explanation for this supremely weird thing; instead, it’s just something we feel compelled to do. We see our partner, realise we love them and find them hot, and we feel like licking them.

Hey, it’s both funny, gross and sexy. All at the same time!

And weird.

Do you know other weird things couples do?

Stay happy!

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