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Sunday, July 14, 2024

11 Things You Should Stop Doing On Your Online Dating Profile

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With millions of people logging in regularly to find a date, it’s safe to say that online dating no longer holds the stigma it once did – and there’s sure to be someone browsing singles within spitting distance of where you’re standing.

You’d have thought with its increased popularity people would have mastered the art of a well constructed profile.

Sadly not. From dodgy pictures to badly written profiles, the internet is awash with online dating fails – and it has us all in stitches.

Here’s 11 things you’re doing on your online dating profile that crack us up.

1. Nipples

The golden rule of online dating pictures, regardless of what state your body is in, is keep your top on.

There is such a thing as imagination and, when presenting yourself to a potential new date, for heaven’s sake let us use ours.

Also Read: Check out Top Dating Reviews report for more tips on dating.

2. Old photos

Live Aid posters in the background? A Duran Duran T-shirt or a George Michael mullet c.1987 – yep, that should do it.

Or, worse still, a photo of a photo – so grainy it could pass as a historic document.

Mate, you ain’t fooling anyone.

3. Over-enthusiasm

YOLO! I love life! Seize the moment! Life is for living!

Calm down love, it’s only an online dating site.

4. Cars

Similar to a naked chest, a car, no matter what shape it is in, is not something that should be on display when you’re looking for a date.

If it’s an old banger you’re next to it says you’re a car nerd who goes drag racing every weekend.

If it’s a flash soft top it says you’re a rich w***ker – or just a w***ker, especially if you’re in a show room and the car’s not even yours.

5. Lycra

You completed the London to Brighton cycle race.

Telling us will suffice – we don’t need visual evidence in the form of a sweaty post-race under-carriage.

6. Kids

Nephews, nieces, friends kids, your kids – regardless of what form your love for small children takes, you’d do well to remember you’re trying to get a date not a work placement in an early years community nursery – enough of the under 5s.

7. Dogs



8. Football logos

The only time you should be publicly pledging allegiance to your team is at the pub with your mates when they’ve made the semi-finals of the Champions League.

We’re not interested in which team you support.

Unless you play for it – or are Jose Mourinho, in which case crack on.

9. Bad spelling

Less funny and more mystifying in the modern age of technology.

It takes 10 seconds.

That is all.

10. Including pictures of your ex

Or that time you were.. er, getting married.

Yep, believe it, I’ve seen ’em all.

11. Being online *all* the time

This is quite possibly the biggest cause for wry humour there is.

Because, regardless of your photo or profile, one thing we do like to imagine is that you have something which could vaguely resemble a life outside of sitting online all day trying to pull.

Work on that one.

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