With costumes from designers including Jeremy Scott, Marc Jacobs, and The Blonds, Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz wardrobe was always going to be stellar. And it does not disappoint one bit, with everything you’d expect from Miley amped up to new fashion heights. That is, there are sparkly leotards with hella high crotches, some ostrich feathers, and lots of adorable little Chanel purses.
Note: This list will be updated (and possibly revised) as Miley wears new looks as the tour continues. (All six looks designed by Roberto Cavalli have yet to debut; I’m also waiting for her McSchino sweater.) But here goes for now:
Spoiler: most are tied for first place.
1. This gingham-print leotard with ostrich feather shoulders.
This is the sort of outfit that ensures you’re the most talked about showgoer at the State Fair. Just make sure you don’t get a grease stain on your blouse after you eat something so wrong it’s right (but still wrong for your bowels).
1. And this glitzy two piece also with ostrich feather shoulders.
I feel pretty confident that drag queens (at least those who can tuck good) are already ripping off their versions of this look for encore performances of “We Can’t Stop (Anal Sex Remix).” There’s just too much sparkly mirrored goodness to be ignored. And if they’re not, well then I just came up with a great idea.
1. The marijuana leotard (also pictured above).
How can diamante emblazoned drugs be bad? Also the pic of Miley on the left here is my favorite recent shot of her.
p.s. accessorizing with a random fan’s panties is a good look too. Who would have thought it?
1. The oversize tongue tee.
I just love everything about this but particularly the ostentatiousness of wearing a t-shirt with your own photo on it. Also the sequin-covered lips because they remind me of those awful/brilliant “lip tattoo appliques” I secretly wish I was brave enough to wear to work. (I work from home and I’m still too timid #sadbuttrue.)
1. The leotard that comes with a Blanche Devereaux-style negligee.
You can NEVER go wrong with something that Blance Devereaux would wear. (That is, in fact, my changing room mantra.)
1. The above leotard but with a skirt attached, perhaps/likely to be ripped off at some point?
Such a delightfully dramatic moment! Just to note, my previous favorite example of this wardrobe trope is when Kate Gosselin worked the move on Dancing With The Stars.
(Also I just want to acknowledge this photo.)
Because again, Blanche Devereaux would approve. Miley, please invite me to your next slumber party — I always have the juiciestideas for truth or dare.
1. The (raunchy) figure skating costume-style leotard.
Bonus points for the foam finger; more bonus points again for the backup dancer dressed as a joint.
1. The Big Bird fur coat.
Lovely in its own right and anything involving a giant/phallic hot dog needs to be #1 in my book.
1. The furry assless chaps.
While Miley wears more than one pair of assless chaps during her show (of course she does), this is the only pair to land the #1 spot. It’s controversial, but I stand by it. These leg pieces would be just at home in a disco carwash as they are here on stage.
2. The sequinned Stars & Stripes leotard.
While I am not American myself, I’m not marking Miley down for her patriotism one bit. God save Queen Miley, you know? (Wrong anthem, but oh well.) I cannot deal with those teeth, though, not at all. Maybe because I am British?
3. The track pant assless chaps.
They just seems too ~~*oBViOus*~~
4. The funereal dress.
It just seems too sad. 🙁