It’s tough when relationships break up, and both partners are left picking up the pieces. Just as you’re suffering and finding that every single thing reminds you of them, they’re suffering too.
The first time I got dumped was a real eye-opener; I’d literally never experienced such feelings of loss before. I was 18, green and perhaps a little bit naive. I honestly thought we were going to be together forever. In my head, I’d already plotted out life; where we would live, how many vacations we’d take, what kind of jobs we’d have.
Little did I know that he – show as 23 and had already had three relationships – probably knew it wasn’t going to last.
It’s really had to get over your first ex, and it’s also really hard to get over anyone who meant a lot to you. They say that time is a great healer, but one of the problems with time is that it takes a lot of time to get moving! If you’re an emotional wreck right now, let’s take a look at 10 practical tips on how to get over your ex boyfriend.
Stop Following Him Online
The first thing we immediately do when we’re dumped is go online to see what they’re up to. We’re curious to know if they’re suffering as much as we are, and whether they’re going through torture day and night.
And so it’s pretty wrenching when we see that they’re out partying tonight while we’ve just bought a cargo-load of tissues.
Stop hurting yourself even more and block him from Facebook. It’s certainly really tough to completely eradicate him from your life like this, but it’s much easier in the long run. The less you know about what he’s up to right now, the better.
It also means you can’t keep sloping off to the bathroom when you’re out with your pals so that you can check his Facebook and have a good blubber to yourself.
Do Something He Disliked
All the time you were with him, there would have been something that he disliked doing, and this dislike pretty much stopped you from doing it, too.
So see the positive side of the breakup and do the things you couldn’t do while you were with him. Wear a short dress in public if you want, go shopping all day long, eat Indian food – do whatever the heck you want!
Another good tip on how to get over your ex boyfriend is to simply keep busy. We all have familiar patterns that we fall into when things don’t go our way. For example, when my first husband used to get depressed, he’d near-instantly head to the fridge and reach for a bottle of beer.
One time, I stopped him in his tracks by telling him the washing machine was broken. He forgot all about the beer and spent the next hour fixing our machine. He kept his mind occupied and he even soon forgot all about his depression. We went out for a meal afterwards.
When you’re feeling blue because you’ve been dumped, it’s tempting to just curl up on the sofa and wallow in your misery. But by doing this, you’re falling into your familiar patten. Instead, you need to break the link by doing something different. Keep yourself busy by doing something – anything. It could be something as simple as a puzzle or something as hectic as more hours at work.
Don’t Dwell On “What If’s…”
Next tip on how to get over your ex boyfriend is to avoid dwelling on ‘what if’s’…
What if you had stayed together?
It’s a question we all ask, but it’s totally pointless and 100% upsetting. It’s always better that you look ahead and not back. Don’t dwell on what could have been; he took control and split you guys up, so you now have to focus on what lies ahead for you. Think about the opportunities that are now before you.
Use The Experience To Your Advantage
You’ve made mistakes in your life. Of course you have – we all have. But what do you do when you make mistakes? Do you grieve and pity yourself, locking yourself in your bedroom and hiding away from the world?
Or do you analyse where you went wrong and tell yourself that you’ll do better next time around?
This is what you can do now. Look back on your relationship and think about everything you learned. Perhaps it turned out that you wasted your time dating someone incompatible with you. Perhaps it transpires that your ideals were actually too different in the end. Maybe you came on too strong, or perhaps you didn’t come on strong enough. There are always lessons to be learned, and it’s important that you learn them.
A great tip on how to get over your ex boyfriend is to redecorate your room, so that all reminders of him are vanquished.
The last thing you want is to keep waking up to the same wallpaper and the same pillows. Although it sounds very new-age, this will definitely help.
Don’t Let Him Give You False Hope
It’s really hard to get over your ex when he’s broken up with you but isn’t sure that he’s made the right decision. And so he keeps stringing you along by giving you false hope that maybe you’ll get together again someday soon.
This makes you a little bit excited, but it stops you from moving on and from gaining closure.
Sure, he might be confused, but it really isn’t helping you at all. If it seems like he can’t make his mind up, it’s much better that you take the lead and tell him that it’s definitely over.
Do Something New
Next good tip on how to get over your ex boyfriend is to do something new. You’ve got plenty of time on your hands now that your ex is out of the way, so why not use it productively and challenge yourself to do something new?
You could learn a language, learn an instrument, go travelling – whatever you feel like!
Don’t Try To Be 100% Over Him
We can’t all do an Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind on our ex. We’d love to be totally over him, but you know what? Sometimes it just isn’t possible to be 100% over someone. Sometimes, a bit of scar tissue will always remain.
This is not a problem as long as you accept it. You’re not emotionally attached to him anymore, and you’re not going out of your mind because he hasn’t called you back. But you’re human and sometimes at night as you close your eyes you will think about him. You may even think about him after ten years, but just embrace these feelings. They’ll swim in and out.
Don’t Look For Someone New
It’s really temping to find a new man to fill the void when your ex is out of the picture, but this is just a short-term fix that always comes with a crash.
Give yourself time to mourn. Get your ex out of your system before you let a new guy into your life. Enjoy the single life while it lasts.
How to get over an ex boyfriend? What are your best tips?