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Saturday, April 13, 2024

15 Ingenious Things You Can Do With Big Boobs Other Than The Obvious

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15 ingenious things you can do with big boobs (other than the obvious)

Hooray for big boobs.

Of course the whole point of them is to feed babies.

Although I’ve also heard a rumour that men quite like them too.

But there’s so much more you could be getting from your big boobed buck.

They can be so much more. For instance:

1. Sub-zero temperature hand-heating device

Cross arms, insert hands under boobs.

We’ve all done it.

2. Personalised Hobnob dispersal unit

By which I mean balancing biscuits on your chest which watching Corrie, obvs.

3. Pint glass transportation module

Apparently small-boobed chicks have to use their hands to carry drinks.

4. Smashing boobs

No, really. Or should that be Ju-tit-su?

5. The evening bag that never goes out of style

Bonus – will probably get you served first at the bar when you reach for your wallet.

6. Best skirt-saving napkin

Yes it’s a pain you got burger sauce on your chest, but at least it won’t stain.

7. Hands-free lipstick applicators

Molly’s taught us so much.

8. Paint brushes

A woman tried to get on Thailand’s Got Talent doing this…

MORE: Outrage after artist paints using her breasts on Thailand’s Got Talent

But she’s no Tit-ian.

9. Shadow puppets

As long as the ghost story you’re telling is set in the Peak District.

10. Chest-mounted crowd dispersal devises

Getting trampled in the Oxford Street sales? Extra-padded pointy bra on, chin up, shoulders back and BARGE.

11. The chest equivalent of Diversity

Sara X Mills has set the bar high when it comes to boob dancing.

MORE: Sara X Mills can make her boobs dance to Mozart

Still, everyone needs a hobby, right?

12. Joke shop fart noise creators

Possibly not very lady-like.

13. Ice-breakers

Because it’s always tough knowing what to say to colleagues on your first day.

14. A unique way to eat a banana

Possibly a bit sexual.

15. Clappers

Because they deserve their own round of applause.

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