Hooray for big boobs.
Of course the whole point of them is to feed babies.
Although I’ve also heard a rumour that men quite like them too.
But there’s so much more you could be getting from your big boobed buck.
They can be so much more. For instance:
1. Sub-zero temperature hand-heating device
Cross arms, insert hands under boobs.
We’ve all done it.
2. Personalised Hobnob dispersal unit
By which I mean balancing biscuits on your chest which watching Corrie, obvs.
3. Pint glass transportation module
Apparently small-boobed chicks have to use their hands to carry drinks.
4. Smashing boobs
No, really. Or should that be Ju-tit-su?
5. The evening bag that never goes out of style
Bonus – will probably get you served first at the bar when you reach for your wallet.
6. Best skirt-saving napkin
Yes it’s a pain you got burger sauce on your chest, but at least it won’t stain.
7. Hands-free lipstick applicators
Molly’s taught us so much.
8. Paint brushes
A woman tried to get on Thailand’s Got Talent doing this…
MORE: Outrage after artist paints using her breasts on Thailand’s Got Talent
But she’s no Tit-ian.
9. Shadow puppets
As long as the ghost story you’re telling is set in the Peak District.
10. Chest-mounted crowd dispersal devises
Getting trampled in the Oxford Street sales? Extra-padded pointy bra on, chin up, shoulders back and BARGE.
11. The chest equivalent of Diversity
Sara X Mills has set the bar high when it comes to boob dancing.
MORE: Sara X Mills can make her boobs dance to Mozart
Still, everyone needs a hobby, right?
12. Joke shop fart noise creators
Possibly not very lady-like.
13. Ice-breakers
Because it’s always tough knowing what to say to colleagues on your first day.
14. A unique way to eat a banana
Possibly a bit sexual.
15. Clappers
Because they deserve their own round of applause.