Before I actually had children I had the whole work/kids/home thing all figured out. I would work from home during the evenings and afternoons while the babies were asleep. Maybe get a bit done while they played with their toys.
But as I discovered shortly after the arrival of my firstborn, juggling parenthood with anything at all is pretty damn difficult…
Here are a few things work from home parents will understand:
1. The children will be happily playing on their own but the moment you sneak off and switch on your computer- they will want something from you.
2. The baby will never, ever nap when you have a load of work to finish.
3. You plan to make an early start so you can get some work done before the kids get up but when the alarm goes off at 5am, you decide to go back to sleep and work in the evening instead.
4. But by the evening you are so tired you decide to get up extra early the next day (for definite this time)!
5. On the rare occasion your offspring are in bed at a reasonable time you are torn between drinking wine to celebrate or doing work.
6. You sometimes opt for both. Then the next morning you switch your computer on to find all the work you did under the influence of a few glasses of Sauvignon Blanc is total crap.
8. You often have to type one-handed as you use the other hand to stop the kids hitting your keyboard.
9. ‘Oops, sorry I forgot the attachment!’ Is your most commonly typed sentence.
10. Followed by ‘Sorry, my toddler pressed ‘send’ before I finished the email!’
11. At one point you’ll be on the phone to an important client and someone will shout, ‘MUMMY CAN YOU WIPE MY BUM?’
12. Your house is always a mess because all your free time is spent working.
13. You often let your children do annoying things to buy you a few minutes of work time. Rip up a loo roll, empty Cheerios all over the floor or take all the books out of the shelf.
14. It is not unusual for you to be talking to a client on the phone with your boobs out (while breastfeeding your baby).
15. You feel guilty for constantly telling the kids ‘in a minute’.
16. And for letting them watch CBeebies all morning.
17. Some days you try to do everything and end up achieving nothing.
18. There is no Friday feeling. Weekends are your busiest time as your partner is at home to take care of the children.
19. You dream of working at a desk that is not covered in plastic food and stale Cheerios and at a computer that does not have sticky handprints all over it.
20. While you are grateful that working from home means you get to spend more time with your babies, you feel like you are constantly juggling too many balls. On a rollercoaster. While cleaning up wee…