With adultery rates showing no sign of decline among men and women, it’s nearly inevitable that lovers will one day have to face the person who has captured their significant other’s attention. For women, this awkward encounter happens quite often, as females oftentimes leave clues of their existence for other women.
Mainstream media frequently depicts women as overly jealous beings who will claw the eyes out of anyone sleeping with her man, while leaving the man unscathed. But the reality of an encounter between two women who are sharing the same men is not as dramatic. While there may be banter, fist fighting is more of an immature way to handle disputes. Mature women tend to be more concerned with extracting information from one another as opposed to fighting. When the encounter happens, there are four things you must do to make sure you’re able to fairly assess the matter.
- Focus on the facts, not building a friendship. Sometimes your man’s other woman will attempt to build a friendship with you in a subtle attempt to keep up with your interaction with your significant other. Unless you feel an overwhelming connection to her, make it very clear that you are not interested in being her friend and would like to stay focused on the facts.
- Do not confront your man while you’re angry. If you think that confronting your man in a screaming rage will make him feel bad about himself, try again. It may startle him or even upset him, but most of all, it will be a distraction and not allow you to communicate your feelings to him in a meaningful way. Scream, kick, and cry before you confront him with the conversation you had with the other woman. You can still exude anguish and heartbreak while talking to him without throwing a fit.
- Do not solicit the advice of close friends and family, prematurely. The worst thing you can do to yourself is ask your best friend and relatives what you should do before you’ve gathered all of the information. In the heat of the moment, you may feel a need to share everything you’ve heard with someone; but always remember that your close friends and family have a bias. They (hopefully) have your best interest at heart and therefore may tell you things you want to hear as opposed to things you need to hear. Gather as much information as you can from your man and the other woman before sharing information with your network.
- Make a decision and stick with it. The emotional trauma of discovering your man has been with someone else can leave you confused. No matter what you decide to do after hearing both sides of the story, make a decision and stick with it. If you are not confident in the decision you’re making, it’s more than likely not the right decision for you. Choosing to end the relationship while still being intimate with your man will only make your matter more complex and frustrating. If you want to stay with him, stay with him and work on rebuilding the relationship. If you want to leave him, leave him and work on building time with yourself. The dreaded “gray area” is only feasible after you’ve made a decision and stuck with it over a period of time. You don’t want to create a gray area in a state of confusion.
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