by Sex You Deserve Nick Hardwick | Your Tango
Has your woman’s libido recently taken a dive? Do you ever wonder what happened to the early stages of your relationship when she wanted to get it on as much as you? Do you feel like you have to “earn” sex? And even when you do “get lucky,” it’s nowhere near as hot or exciting as you’d like?
Society would have you believe it’s normal and that women just don’t like sex as much as men. As you’re about to learn, however, that’s not true at all.
In fact, if you use the five tips below, you just might be the one who has to turn her down, because she wants it more often than you. Here are the five most common reasons women “lose” their sex drive, and how you can help your woman get it back stronger than ever before:
1. She’s afraid to tell you what she wants
With religious groups, media and society ready to shame and ridicule any woman who doesn’t repress her dirty desires and fantasies, you have to show her that being the erotically charged goddess she is is a good thing.
How? By NEVER judging, ridiculing or shaming anyone for their sexual preferences or choices. When the media shames a celebrity for her sexuality, you should openly applaud the fact — no matter what others think. NEVER judge anyone’s sexual preferences or fantasies, no matter how odd they might seem to you.
Encourage and reward your woman’s fantasies and fetishes with an open mind and a willingness to explore them with her — no matter what our sex-fearing society may think.
If you want her to crave sex with you so much that she initiates it on a regular basis, show her that it’s safe to “let loose”.
2. There’s not enough foreplay involved
Most men think foreplay is all the physical stuff that happens before sex. The truth is, though, that foreplay is ALWAYS happening!
Foreplay has two main objectives:
- To demonstrate that it’s safe for her to “let go”
- To get her turned on and craving you
If you wait until you’re in the mood to meet these two objectives, it will take a long time to bring her up to your level of arousal. When you realize that foreplay is always on and learn how to give it to her throughout the day, she’ll be excited and wanting you BEFORE you get into the bedroom.
Think about it this way: Foreplay is the way you look at her when she walks through the door, or the way you pin her up against the wall and give her a deep, passionate kiss in the middle of the day. Foreplay is the way you tell her how sexy her butt looks in those pants, without any expectation of sex.
When you start giving her random foreplay throughout the day, her subconscious starts to associate YOU with being turned on and, soon enough, she’ll initiate sex.
3. The excitement has fizzled out
Think about the most exciting and pleasurable sexual experience you’ve ever had. What made it so exciting?
I’ve never asked anyone this question and heard, “we were in bed having missionary sex like we always do.”
There’s usually some element of risk, danger or resistance that warns, ‘you really shouldn’t be doing this’. Experiences like this are not typical or vanilla, and won’t fit into the bounds of your routine.
So think about how you could incorporate more excitement into your sex life.
4. She’s gotten tired of the “same old, same old”
Variety is about the TYPE of sex you have.
The media portrays women as only wanting to “make love” and have romantic sex. But that’s just one kind of sex, and she wants more — much more!
Sometimes, she wants you to ravage her with rough sex, or is just in the mood for a quickie. Maybe she has some odd fantasy or fetish that she’s burning to have fulfilled — it’s your job to give it to her.
She wants and NEEDS a variety of sexual experiences in order to feel fulfilled. Don’t be the guy who gets great at just one type of sex, because she’ll never be completely satisfied.
5. You can’t maintain your erection for as long as she needs you to
Maintaining an erection or finishing too quickly is understandable, but don’t leave her hanging!
Did you know her clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings and 18 specific parts? Or how about the fact that women can have 9 different types of orgasms? When you combine all the possibilities, there are 67 ways to give a woman a foreplay orgasm!
With that in mind, there’s no reason you can’t give your girl at least one orgasm during foreplay. After you master the basics, we can talk about multiples, simultaneous and even blended orgasms — the possibilities are limitless.
This post originally appeared on Your Tango: 5 Secret Ways To Ramp Up Her Libido And Have Her BEGGING For Sex